Will I ever learn...

I am so frustrated with myself!!!!! I am in a situation right now that I could have avoided. But no - I was undisciplined and did what I wanted to do - and now I'm paying for it. Literally. My finances stink right now.

I could offer a lot of excuses - moving into a new place being top on the list - but it simply comes down to not being disciplined with my checkbook. *sigh*

Ok, Lord, I'm learning....I'm learning!!!

Does anyone else have struggles like this?

Back to normal...

Well, now that I've got our "house" website up, I'll try to keep my comments here to what's happening in my life.

As you may have gathered from some of my posts - I'm single (I don't have an "About Me" page yet). I've gotten to a place in my walk with Christ that should I never get married, I will be ok. Really... I will. I want to get married, but I want to know Christ more. One thing I know is this: before I ever get married, there are some things God wants me to deal with and work out. I'm in the process of doing that. Or at least trying to.

The other day, I was pondering this place that I am in and realized that I have a serious weakness when it comes to self-discipline and self-denial (which tend to go hand in hand.) I don't know about you, but I have a hard time denying myself the things I want. I'm just talking about the small stuff - a book, cd, dinner at a specific restaurant, a program on tv, a movie that's playing - stuff like that.

I was driving home from somewhere, and it was as if God spoke to me..."if you don't have control over simple desires (like giving in to buying a book or outfit when I don't really have the money), what kind of control will you have when you get into a relationship?" Yikes! As we all know, in relationships of any kind, there are times you have to deny yourself to keep peace or sacrifice something to please the other person. If we're going to live our lives as the Bible teaches, we are to "be devoted to one another in brotherly love, honoring one another above ourselves." (Romans 12:10) In order to "honor" someone above myself, I have to give up my own selfish wants and desires.

It dawned on me that I have not even been doing a good job of that in my relationship with Christ. Christ is perfect....He is understanding....He is infinetly patient....and loves unconditionally. Even though I know it sorrows Him when I don't give up something I should to spend time with Him, He can handle it. How in the world am I going to have a good relationship - with someone who is imperfect, not always understanding or patient and who may not love unconditionally all the time - if I don't deny myself or have self-control or exercise some self-discipline? My selfishness can and would be a stumbling block to our relationship. (And vice versa!)

Needless to say, that's been some food for thought for several days. I'm not even dating anyone, but this relationship business is hard work!

Live, from Fondren...

We are live with our new website!!!!!

Go here to see the inaugural post of the Fondren Sisterhood.

Woohoo!

Blah.

I'm in a funk.

I'm not depressed or upset about anything. In fact, besides being a little strapped for cash, life is good. I love my house, my roommates, my job, my family, my church.....you name it, it's good.

It's just me, I think.

I know what part of it is. There are some things God is trying to work out of me :) (of course that's loads of fun!) It's been interesting the things God has been speaking to me through the pastor at my church. The good news is - I'm not the only one being affected!

It all comes down to the fact that dying daily - dying to my wants and desires - is a difficult thing. I did not realize how much I was still holding on to. My pastor made this statement a couple of weeks ago - "Your commitment to Christ is not measured by what you give up, but by what you keep."

Think about it!

Sometimes, it's easy to give up those things the Christian community would label "obvious" sins - drinking, promiscuity, drugs, stealing, cheating...you know what I mean. But when it comes time to go a bit deeper in your walk and God asks you to give up other stuff (attitudes, personal ambitions, pride - just to name some) it's a bit more difficult. We feel justified in our attitudes and opinions. We get comfortable with life the way it is. Then, the Holy Spirit comes along and pricks our conscience about an attitude we may have or nudges us while we're watching a movie or tv show and whispers "How much time have you spent with me today."

*sigh*

It's crazy - I know what I need to do. I just need to get motivated to do it. I know God will bless me. I know He has my best interests at heart. I know, too, that one day, I'll look back on this moment and time and say, "If I had only known then what I know now! That was nothing!"

Coming soon!

Well, I'm working on the blog for our house. It is called the Fondren Sisterhood and will feature stories about me, my two roommates and the things going on at our house. Did I mention before that we live in Grand Central Station?

It will be loads of fun - real lighthearted and with a lot of pictures.

As soon as I get it ready and make a post, I'll let you know!

Over the river and through the woods...

To Deedee's grandma's house we go!

My roommate, Deedee, and I will be leaving on Friday to go visit her grandma and grandpa in Louisiana. I'm looking forward to meeting her grandparents - especially since all of mine have been gone for many years. I'll get a good grandparent hug from anywhere I can! :)

i just love grandparents!!!! They are so awesome.

There's nothing I like better than sitting around listening to older folks telling stories about their childhood and the "way things used to be." We can learn a lot from our elders, if we just take the time to listen to what they have to say. Some of my best memories I have of time spent with my grandparents was sitting around with all the family there (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) listening to stories they had about each other and what they went through growing up. We always had a good time.

So, I'll be gone for a couple of days, but in the famous words of a soon-to-be governor - "I'll be back!"

TTFN!!

They grow up so fast

My niece, Hannah, started kindergarten today. She handled it better than the rest of us, I think. :)

My other niece and nephew were at home with their mom, so I went and picked up a couple of Happy Meals and had lunch with them. My niece, Mackenzie, was taking this whole school thing a little hard. "My miss Hannah," she says as I walk in the door. She was feeling a bit left out, so I wanted to do something special just for her (and Nathaniel too!)

Anyway, we're eating lunch and we start talking about why I came and brought lunch.

"Kiki wanted to do something special for you because Hannah went to school today." My sister-in-law reminds Mackenzie.

"Right, I brought you lunch because I knew you would be missing Hannah."

"My still miss Hannah!" says Mackenzie in her cute 3 year old voice, letting me know that the food was great, but her sister was still not there!

I about fell out of my chair! That was the sweetest thing I've heard in a long time.

As for Nathaniel, as soon as he finished his Happy Meal and got his toy, he was good to go. Boys just deal with this kind of stuff differently, I guess.

Anyway, they enjoyed their meal and I enjoyed spending time with them. I will admit, though, it was strange not having Hannah around, too. The three of them are almost a package deal. At the very least, Hannah and Mackenzie are usually together.

I just don't know what I would do if I had kids!

Can I take another vacation?

Good grief! I go back to work tomorrow after a week's vacation, and I think I'm more tired now than when I started this vacation! What a week!

Yesterday, my brother got a phone call from my roommate (who's boyfriend drives a Harley and is a member of the motorcycle minstry at our church). They were out riding and had two bikes break down about an hour and a half outside of town. The national president (who lives here in town and was with them) had a trailer that could haul both bikes, but they needed someone to come get them - which meant they also needed another car to haul passengers. So my brother and I head out about 2:45 to get the trailer (he's in his truck and I'm in my car) and actually get on the road to get our friends about 3:15. It was a really pretty ride up to get them. I was wishing I had my own motorcycle! We got there around 4:45 and then got back on the road home around 5:45. It was fun, but it also made for a very long day!

Everyone was so appreciative of us coming to get them, but I can't imagine not doing what we did. I guess I've just always been that way - if someone needs help, I'll do what I can to help them. From time to time, this helpfulness gets me in trouble. Sometimes, God is trying to work something out in a person's life and I'll step in and interfere by "helping" them out of a sticky situation. I'm learning to be a bit more cautious with my desire to help someone. But this one thing I know (and those close to me have heard this thousands of times!) "Freely you have received, freely give." Jesus was telling that to the disciples right before he sent them out to preach the gospel. (Matthew 10)

Everything I have and everything I am is because of Him! Every material thing I have, every talent or ability I have was given to me by my Father in Heaven. How could I not share what I have? Mind you, this lesson has not been easily learned. In fact, I'm still learning it. But if Jesus can give up Heaven and being in the presence of His Father to come to earth and die for me, I have no right to hold on to anything I have here on earth.

That's just what was on my mind, so I thought I'd share. Hope you all are having a wonderful day!

The Last Day

Alas, tis my last day of vacation. :(

It's been fun....just wish it could last a few more days. As a matter of fact, I still have about 5 days vacation due to me but I have to use them before September 1. There's no chance that I could take another week off! I'm just going to have to get better at planning vacation throughout the year instead of waiting until the summer to get it in.

There is some good news though - I'll be going to Kansas City for about 5 days in November - and it doesn't count against my vacation! Every year I go to our home office for new staff training (as a trainer) so I have the opportunity to be away from the office. What fun!

So, I'm sure you're just dying to know what I've been doing this week....right? Well - not much! I went swimming a couple of days with my sister-in-law and the kids - taught my niece Hannah how to swim. She is amazing! I couldn't get her to swim on top of the water or to float, but when I suggested she try swimming under the water - she took off like a fish!!! Hannah is only 5 and has never really had a chance to swim, so this week was a lot of fun. She got so brave, that she was jumping off the side of the pool and then would swim under water to the other side of the pool. It was cool! She got to show her daddy, mamaw and papaw that she could swim. Needless to say, they were all proud of her.

My other niece, Mackenzie, 3, was a little more cautious - she wouldn't swim - but she was all over the pool in her little Cookie Monster float! She eventually would jump off the side of the pool wearing her float. We were all proud of her too!

Last, but not least, we have Nathaniel, 2. He stayed to the edge of the pool in his Big Bird float most of the time, but would venture out with his mom or with me every so often. A couple of times, he tried to get in without his float, but his mom caught him. By the end of the day (yesterday), he wanted to jump into the pool (without his float). So I would stand there and catch him. He also tried it with his float. I think he decided to go for it because Mamaw and Papaw were watching. Anyway - we all had a great time!

As for what else I did this week - not a whole lot. It's been kind of nice. There were times this week I wished I was at the beach, but over all - it was a good week.

It's just over way too soon.

On Vacation

I can't believe I'm actually on vacation! It's not a really fantastic vacation - I'm not on the beach - but I am off of work and out of the office!!!! Yippee! I am enjoying myself, nonetheless.

We've had a bunch going on since I last wrote. Last Friday, we hosted our first really big gathering here at the house. The motorcycle ministry we are involved with has weekly meetings (hosted at different homes each week) and we were glad to offer our home as a meeting place. It went really well. We were concerned about parking, but it worked out perfectly! Of course the bikes all parked in the front yard. I wish I had thought about it - I would have taken a picture to post! Anyway, we had about 20 people over and it was a ton of fun!!

I'm still considering doing another blog specifically about the life and times of me and my roommates in our house. I think it would be fun. I've got a couple of other stories I could post that would make for interesting reading. I guess this week would be a good time to get it running.

Well, I'm going to sign off. My two nieces are spending the night with me tonight. One has already gone to sleep and now I need to get the other one to sleep.

Until later!

A Testimony

Another eventful week! I've been in staff meetings since Sunday night and have just now taken time to write this.

Today (Tuesday), for the first time that I can really remember, I was asked to share my testimony. For those of you who may not be sure what that means, it's just sharing with others about how I came to know Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord. That was somewhat of a challenge, because I have never really had to put my experience into words. I tell you, when you stop to try and put into words your salvation experience, you really examine where you are in your walk with Christ.

Anyway, it got me to thinking that I really need to practice sharing my testimony. After all, the Bible tells us to be prepared to give an answer to anyone who asks the reason for the hope we have (1 Peter 3:15). So, here goes:

For the most part, my family was normal. My two brothers and I had both of our parents around. They both worked to provide for us and made sure we went to church on a regular basis. If dad wasn't able to go, mom made sure we were there - probably more for her own sanity than anything else. :) Well, needless to say, I was raised in church. As some folks would say, I cut my teeth on the back of the pew. So I had a pretty good head knowledge of the Bible and God and Jesus....you know, the whole nine yards.

I attended my first summer church camp at the age of seven. I'll never forget it. It was the first time I would be staying away from home for a whole 3 days! Camp became something I looked forward to each summer. God's presence was on that campground in a way I had never before experienced. I must have gotten "saved" every year. Mostly, that was because I didn't truly understand what it meant to accept Christ in my life. I think it was more about getting caught up in the moment and the emotion of those powerful services. Now, I don't want you to think that God wasn't working. He was using each of those experiences to bring me closer to a real knowledge of Him. But it wasn't until I was 14 and in camp, that I really felt God speaking to me and saying, "ok, this is it....it's time to make a real commitment." So I truly repented and accepted Christ as my Savior...but not really as my Lord. I was saved - no doubt about it - but the trials of life were still to come and test my willingness to completely surrender my life to Jesus.

When I was 18 and a freshman in college, I attended a youth convention with my church that really stirred within my heart the need to let Jesus be Lord of my life. I had been living my life as a Christian...for the most part. I was never tempted by things (like drinking or smoking or sleeping around) like most of the people I went to high school with. I won't act like I was perfect - I was far from that - but I at least acknowledged God's presence in my life and tried to do those things I thought were necessary to be a "good Christian". But when I entered college and was away from home and away from my home church, I started not attending church and not giving so much thought to where God fit into my life. I didn't start giving in to those temptations that I had withstood to that point, but I was living life for myself. When I went to that youth conference, I was really challenged by God's Word and began to examine in my own heart whether or not I had allowed Jesus to be Lord of my life. What that meant was this: was I going to continue doing things my way or was I going to seek God for His will in my life? It was a tough question.

I made the decision to allow Him to guide me in every aspect of my life. I won't pretend that it was easy or that even now I still always let Him lead and guide me, but that was a turning point in my life. I decided to come back home and attend a local private Christian college and at the close of my freshman year, went on a mission trip to Greece and Bulgaria that really changed my life and my perspective on the Christian experience.

Ever since that pivotal year (now an amazing 11 years ago!) I have seen God move in so many ways in my life and in the lives of those around me. I've had other struggles that have challenged my walk and my faith, but each time, God has been so faithful to me and has been with me each step of the way. I can look back now and see His hand in so many areas of my life. I am truly thankful and awed by His grace and mercy.

I used to feel like I didn't have a great testimony. I wasn't one of those who had come from the pit of hell (so to speak) and had a miraculous conversion. As a matter of fact, I hardly remember living my life without a desire to please Him. However, I realized that my testimony was just as incredible as the person with the miraculous conversion. My testimony is all about God's keeping power. His ability to guard me and keep me from sin.

Now, some of you may be thinking, "Well that's just great, Christy. I'm glad your life has been so wonderful. You haven't had to struggle with things like I have. I've not had it as easy as you." You are wrong. Sure, I didn't struggle with some of those things like drinking, smoking or sleeping around - but I've had other struggles. Struggles like pride, selfishness, self-righteousness....just to name a few.

The point of all of this is regardless of when you gave (or give) your life to Christ - whether you committed your life to Christ at an early age and lived a life pleasing to Him or you were an alcoholic living life on the edge without one thought of God and His will for your life - we all are sinners in need of a Savior. Thank God His grace and mercy are available to us all. The one thing I know is this - He is able to guard those things we give to Him (2 Timothy 1:12) and if you make the commitment today to give your life to Christ and entrust Him with that - you will never be the same.

If you would like to know more about accepting Christ as your Savior or need a friend to talk to about struggles you're facing as a Christian, please email me. I would love to help you in any way I can.

A post for today...

Hey all. Seems like there's some problem with my commenting feature. If it doesn't get straightened out soon, I'll change to another service. I hate that because it means I'll lose all the great posts you've left until now. If you know a good commenting service to use, email me!

Well, anyway.....life goes on, doesn't it? ;)

On to something a little deeper....

Someone pointed out the following scripture to me the other day and I read it again last night:

"After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin." Hebrews 12:4

In this chapter, the writer of Hebrews is encouraging his readers to lay aside the "sin that so easily hinders" their progress and reminds them to keep their eyes on Jesus - the one who endured the cross. When we compare what Jesus endured to what we struggle with - there is no reason for us to lose heart. After all, we have not given our lives in our struggle against sin.

We all struggle with sin - that's just a fact. But I've come to realize in my own walk that I don't fight nearly hard enough to avoid sin. In fact, I sometimes don't put up any kind of fight.

Yikes! It really is convicting when I sit down and think of what my Savior did for me....and then realize I don't give my best effort in resisting sin. Now - I know I will fail. Even if I strive every day to totally resist sin, there is something I will miss. But you know what I mean - the sin (or sins) that continually raises its head in our everyday living. And you know as soon as you overcome that one, another is there to take it's place.......

Well, I guess that's the growing process. All I know is I want to be more like Him. I'm glad He's always there, prompting me, encouraging me and yes - even disciplining me. According to Hebrews 12:6, God disciplines those He loves. It is good to be loved!

I've been published!

Well, my friends...I answered the call on a fellow blogger's page about insight into Southern Belles and he printed some of my thoughts (along with a few other ladies) on his site.

You can read the article here. It is very good - and true!!!!

Thanks, Adam, for including me in your article!

Thought of something else to say...

Well, as you can see by the posting time of this entry - I'm up late!!!!

Everyone made it safely home today! Thank God! Deedee and Meagan's mom is here visiting as well as her friend Pat and a little girl, Sam, that's a friend of their family. As I said the other day - this weekend is going to be a riot! Up until about 30 minutes ago, we were out on the porch visiting.

I just love people! (Most of the time!!) And having them at my house is even better! I don't know how much of that is just bred into me (being born in the south) or how much of that is born in me because of Christ being in my life. His word does say that

"Love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God - for God is love." 1 John 4:7-8

That is so cool!

It is my heart's desire that our house will be a place of refuge - not only for Deedee, Meagan and myself - but for anyone who steps over our threshold and needs a little love. I pray for God's blessing to be on our house and that He would use it for His glory. Who knows what will happen??!?!?!?

Still thinking about starting a new blog about our house. Deedee likes the idea, and I haven't talked to Meagan yet. Keep watching! We may have one up soon!

Give me a break!!!!!

OK!!! HERE THEY ARE!!! GEEZ! After being harassed by a few friends, here are some pictures of the house. I don't have any of the outside (I'm never home at a good time to get the outdoors photos) but you'll get a good idea of what we're living in from these pictures. I'm only posting 3 right now - so as not to make it difficult for viewers still using dial-up.

Let me know what you think! The picture below is of our living room. Don't you just love the hardwood floors?! Bottom left: the dining room. Bottom right: kitchen - we love the funky blue color!

I'm still here...

No, I've not fallen off the face of the earth. I've just been otherwise occupied.

I do have pictures of the house and will have those up by the end of the week. I love our house! Right now, I've got the house to myself as Deedee left for Illinois on Monday. She'll be back on Friday, along with her sister (our other roommate) Meagan, their mother and their mother's friend - and no telling who else that's coming to help Meagan get settled in. This weekend will be a riot!

Especially when we have our "Stripping & Screwing Party" on Saturday. . . . . .

Ok, I'm sure you're thinking "WHAT THE...."

It's not what it seems! We've got to strip down my/our dining room chairs (all six of them) and then screw the legs on tight - they're a bit loose. Anyway - we've had a bit of fun asking everyone if they wanted to attend our "Stripping & Screwing Party". You can imagine some of the looks we've gotten!!!

Oh, one other thing.....they got me! The folks from my church got me good last week for my birthday. You know, I turned 30 this year, so I was hoping someone would make a big deal of it - and they did!

My cell group normally meets on Thursday, but due to some scheduling conflicts, we had to move our meeting last week to Wednesday - the same night of the Bible study we recently started at the church. So, no big deal, our group just wouldn't be able to attend the Bible study.

Well, our home group meeting begins and there are a couple of people in attendance who normally aren't there - that was really cool since I knew them and had been hoping they would come to one of our meetings. We begin discussing our topic and people keep showing up. Now, I'm thinking...."Wow! God is really moving! Thanks, Lord!" and at the same time "God, help me not say something stupid!!" It all seemed a bit strange, but I've seen God do some weird stuff. I must have re-capped our topic 5 times by the time the group from the church shows up at our meeting. Then I knew - they were all there for my birthday! I experienced a myriad of emotions - all the way from excitement to embarrassment (I don't like being the center of attention like that.) It was great - and I really felt special and loved! (Thanks to Deborah and all those who helped her pull that off!)

So the adventure continues. I'm thinking of starting another blog just about my roommates and our house. Could be a lot of fun! I'll let you know if I do!

Have a great day!

Quick post

Here is one of the pictures of my car. It's a little hard to see, but I wanted to "share" a little of my experience!

We will have internet access tomorrow, so I hope to post some pictures of our house! I'm so excited! However, I find that, given a choice, I would rather stay home - so I know it will be even harder to leave the house once I get internet access. There is so much to do online!!!

Well, I guess I'd better get to work! Have a great day!

Today is a good day!

How about this - today is my birthday, I have the best roommate in the world and my website has registered over 1,000 hits!
Alright!

My roommate, Deedee, is the greatest! This morning, I woke up to my dog barking as Deedee was leaving the house. Very early. I thought maybe she had an early staff meeting (she's a teacher) and didn't think much of it. As I'm outside with my dog, she rolls back into the driveway, jumps out of her car and says "Happy Birthday! Breakfast for the birthday girl!" She had gone to McDonald's and gotten me breakfast! How awesome is that! That's not all....I go to get into my car and come to work, and lo and behold, my car is all painted up! She had painted birthday messages all over my windshields! You know..."Honk, it's her birthday!" "Happy, Happy Birthday!" "Birthday girl!" I couldn't believe it. No one had ever done that to or for me! I love it! She called me as I was driving to work, and of course I had to threaten her - "You are so dead!" I said. She just laughed and asked me if anyone had honked at me yet.

What a way to start the day! It is a good day!

Another mile-marker

Well, folks - I'm all settled in (with the exception of a few things that still need to be put away)! Have I mentioned that I love my new house? Deedee and I are enjoying ourselves and have already had company over this past week! Meagan will be home in a few weeks and then we'll really find our "groove". I'm excited.

Tomorrow, I will be turning 30. Woohoo!!!! I am excited. I feel like I'm on the verge of something great - either for me personally or with some part of the many things in which I'm involved. I just have a sense of underlying excitement deep within. Have you ever experienced that? Only God knows the things He has in store for me over the next year, but I sure am looking forward to whatever it may be.

I know I said I would post pictures of the house, and I will, but it may be a couple of days. I haven't had an opportunity to borrow my dad's digital camera to take the pictures!!! I'm at my parent's house now, so I'll get it today. Updating this page will be easier once we get the internet service connected at the house.

Anyway, I guess I'll get off of here for now. We're about to have dinner and some birthday cake!! :) Yum, yum!

It is good to be home!

We are in! Well, at least Deedee and I are in! We absolutely love our house! I'll try to get some pictures this weekend so you can see, too! :)

It has been a long week. Since Sunday night, I haven't been to bed before 2 am until last night. I got to sleep a whole 2 hours longer! Moving is hard work, but the really tough part is getting everything in it's own place! I didn't realize how much junk I have!

Anyway, I hope to be a bit more regular with my posts, but I won't have internet connected at the house until next Thursday. Oh well....soon enough!

Now for something a little more uplifting: I was reading the Bible this morning and ran across a passage that was extremely comforting. In today's climate of political unrest, wars abroad and troubles in our daily lives, everyone needs something on which to hang their hope. At least I know I do. Hebrews 2:8 says:

"In putting everything under him (Jesus), God left nothing that is not subject to him. Yet at present, we do not see everything subject to him."

EVERYTHING is under the Jesus' control. Even though we don't see it right now, there is coming a day when it will be obvious to us all. I was just so encouraged when I read that. If you're having a rough time, have courage - Jesus is in control. If you don't see a way out of the situation, be strong - Jesus is in control of that situation. I don't know about you, but I really find that comforting.

I hope you all have a wonderful July 4th weekend. If you haven't read the Declaration of Independance do that sometime this weekend. It is truly inspiring. God bless you all!