Right Now

I am learning a very hard lesson right now. I am not patient. I have never prayed for patience, either....well, not directly. I have a hard time waiting for things. You know, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, we live in a "microwave generation". We can have just about anything we want - right now. Most of us want what we want - right now. Think about it: you can go online and get news, recipies, clothes, food, purchase a house, vehicle or stocks, research, read books.....even find a spouse. There is no limit to what you can have - right now.

Well, here's my struggle - God's time is never my time. Don't get me wrong - His timing is always right - just not my timing! I want to know exactly what my purpose or function in this life is - right now. I want a glimpse of what my life is going to be like - right now. I'm not married, and don't have any current prospects, so I want to know how long I will have to wait before that comes about in my life - right now. I want to be financially stable and not have student loans to pay back- right now. I want God to let me see a little bit of my future - right now. I've dedicated my life to Him, and I want to know when it will be "my turn". I want it to be now! As I said, I'm not a patient person. But I want to be.

I want to be content. I want to be able to completely trust God with my future, even though I can't see how it will come out. I need to put my trust and hope totally in Christ.

Someone reminded me of a scripture last week that has been on my mind ever since. The scripture talks about wisdom from God and compares people who trust in themselves and those who trust in God:

"Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans and turn their hearts away from the Lord. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, on the salty flats where no one lives. But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like a tree planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit." Jeremiah 17:5-8

I am struck by the description of the tree planted by the riverbank. Can't you see it? Here is a tree, right on the riverbank, with big limbs reaching out in every direction with beautiful green leaves and delicious fruit. It gets everything it needs to grow right there on that riverbank, next to the water. Even when it is very hot or there is a long period of drought, it's leaves are green and it still produces fruit. What a joyous picture that is. It almost brings a smile to my face. In contrast is the shrub in the desert. It is isolated, in a dusty, dry stretch of barren ground. How dreary a picture that is. How hopeless. I've got to let my roots go way down deep into the source of my life. I've got to draw my strength from the Living Water, Jesus, and grow in Him. Then, I will not be worried by the circumstances surrounding me and those long periods of drought will not phase me. Otherwise, I will be isolated, dry and without hope.

"The human heart is most deceitful and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I know! I, the Lord search all hearts and examine secret motives." Jeremiah 17:9-10a

This scripture sure puts another spin on trusting in ourselves doesn't it? If I can't even know my own heart, or trust in it, how can I know that what I want "right now" is what I need? I can let myself believe something to be truth and be led down the wrong path. I can want something so much and try to finagle my way to getting it and all of a sudden realize it was the worst thing I could have ever gotten. As I said, I need to trust in God. I am not dependable. I can mess up, big time! Or - I can choose to simply place my complete trust and hope in Christ and be like the tree - unphased by the circumstances around me, producing beautiful fruit and full of hope.