Tuesday, February 15, 2005

When I was a child...

I used to wonder why it was that God wouldn't give me just a glimpse into my future. "Why can't you give me just a hint of what's to come?"

Now I know that God is truly infinite in His wisdom.

As I get older, even though there are many times I wish for that hint of future plans, I'm learning to appreciate the surprise of living life. On the other side of that coin, when things don't go the way I would have planned, I'm grateful that I had no clue the rough times were coming. It's hard enough to deal with pain and uncertainty when it comes. I can't imagine trying to deal with knowing: on such-and-such day, xyz is going to happen and you will respond thus-and-so.

I find myself again in a holding pattern of waiting and trusting in God. It's not the worst place in the world. I keep reminding myself and telling Jesus that if I can just have Him....if I can just dwell in His presence, everything will be ok. He is all I need. Like the woman with the issue of blood, if I can just touch Him, I'll be whole. My heart longs to know Him deeper and for that reason alone, I am glad for this current trial.

The good news is this - I am absolutely certain that Jesus is right here with me and is working all things for my good. I look forward, with great anticipation, to what blessings He will bring into my life. I can't wait to see how He will work. More importantly, I can't wait to see the finished product in me that can reach out and help someone else. If I have to experience these things to be a blessing to someone else - so be it!
"...we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope does not disappoint, because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." - Romans 5:3-5

I thank God for what He is doing!

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