Sailing, sailing...

I am leaving my home today to head to Mobile, AL, where I will board a Carnival Cruise ship on Thursday for my first trip on a cruise! I can hardly wait!!!!

You can be sure I'll post some pictures once I get back. I'll be taking a BUNCH!!!

Bon voyage!

Be still...

That phrase has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I have always taken care of things, been able to fix what's broken, find a solution for the problem at hand...basically take care of myself and those in my care. Well this week has brought me face to face with the fact that sometimes, I just do not have an answer and can't do a thing about it.

My faithful car, that I've had for almost eight years, has given out on me. The transmission has to be replaced. The really bad news is that I do not have the funds to get it fixed and as a result of my bad financial choices and poor money-management skills, I can't get the money to fix it. I honestly have never been in this situation in my life...you know, where there seems to be no answer and no way out.

But let me tell you how good my God is - all of my needs for today have been met. This could be the lesson He's teaching me. Over the past few months, I have heard that still, small Voice whisper to me, and sometimes yell at me to "live in the moment." At the time, I couldn't really see, or didn't want to see what God was telling me, but I think I am being forced to live it right now.

I was talking to my friend tonight and she asked me how I was doing. I was about to throw a big pity-party about what I don't have when God gently reminded me that every need I had TODAY was met. So that's what I told her - every need I had today was met. I didn't miss a meal, I still have a great job, my house was still standing when I got home, I have this laptop I'm working on, my immediate family is well, and best of all - today I have a car to use to get where I need to go. Beyond that, my eternal life is secure, I am involved in three distinct areas of ministry to other people, and I believe that God is going to use every aspect of this situation to bring glory to Himself (which will make it all worthwhile) and possibly allow me to reach out to others who end up in the same predicament. What a blessing to think that the God of all creation wants to use me in His plan.

I will admit, it has been a struggle not to dwell on the negatives - what I don't have, how my past decisions have contributed to my current situation, how I don't see an answer to my problems....etc., etc. You get the idea. Satan loves to beat us when we're down and heap condemnation on our heads, but another friend of mine reminded me of God's love for me. He told me that if he, as a parent, can still desire to give things to his children, even when they've behaved horribly, how much more is my Father in heaven desiring to do the same for me. It's easy to forget God's grace and mercy when satan is reminding you of past failures. It's also easy to fall into the practice of thinking that our actions alone determine God's involvement in our lives. All day I've felt like there is no way God is going to work this out because I haven't "performed" right - I've "done things wrong", so to speak. I don't really know why I would think He is like that when I, a mere human, have been gracious to people when they didn't deserve it.

Anyway, all I know is that I have a peace that passes understanding. It makes no sense to me, but it does show me that what God's Word says is true -

Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Ever learning to be still...

Losing touch...

I have been without my laptop for the past week, and won't have it again until Monday or Tuesday of next week. Can't give any real details about how and why that has occurred, but suffice it to say, when I get my laptop, I will be a very happy camper!

Speaking of camp - we are overrun with camps here at FCA. We had our leadership camp two weeks ago; we'll start another camp on Monday, at which I'm the "music director" (more on that in a sec); then we have a coaches cruise that begins two weeks from today. Of course, I'm just totally upset about having to go on that cruise - not!!! I can hardly wait!!!

Anyway, about doing the music at our Power Camp - this will be the first time I've served at an FCA event in any capacity other than my paid job description (administrative assistant, etc.) In addition to that, it has been a few years since I've directed the music for kids age 7-13. It is going to be a ton of fun...we'll do some of the old favorites: Arky, Arky...Shake a Friend's Hand...maybe even Father Abraham (to name a few.) Kids love songs with motions. :) It will be really interesting since I'll have to teach the motions AND play the piano. I'm looking forward to it, though. I'm glad my boss will be out of town - I don't know why I would feel weird about him being there, except that I know he would see me cutting up in a way he doesn't see here at the office! It will be awkward enough since I don't know any of the kids!

Well, hopefully once July gets here, I will be able to post more frequently. Lots of things are happening and I stay more focused when I write about what's going on. I feel sort of scattered these days because I'm not writing on a regular basis. It's rather strange - I don't keep up with things as well when I have to hand-write everything down. I'm a much better typist. :)

I laughed so hard, I cried!

Y'all, this is the funniest thing I've seen in quite a while. You may have seen it circulating around the internet, but if not, you HAVE to check it out!

Dancing Trombone Guy

Still waiting...

If you had asked me at the beginning of the year what 2005 was going to look like for me, my answer would have been very different from the reality of my life today. Here's what I thought (in January, that is) the year would hold for me: I would right now be seriously involved with someone in a relationship (that has ended - and I don't want to be involved with anyone right now); working on how to prepare my family, friends and co-workers for the fact I would probably be moving out of state (that still could happen - although not anytime real soon); I would be building a business (that is still in progress - going slower than I expected, but I'm excited about the potential) and God would be doing some incredible things in and through me. Fortunately, that last thing is still happening in spite of me and my ideas!

It's funny how when God starts moving in my life, I just take the first hints of His handiwork and run with it - usually without really stopping to hear what He has to say about it. I wish God would stop me before I get started - you know, with a loud, booming voice that says "Hold on one minute there, Christy..." Unfortunately, God doesn't work that way. Or maybe He does, but with that still, small voice that I don't hear because I'm running off after my own wishes and desires.

You see, I do believe that the desires of my heart (serving God with my whole life, marriage, business - to name a few) are put there because of God's presence in my life, but I mess up, because I haven't fully let go of my idea of how He will bring those things about. I say I have let go of my ideals, but when the rubber meets the road and I have to wait on Him to show me exactly HOW He wants to bring those things into my life, I tend to jump to conclusions and start figuring out how He'll do it. Of course, I'm usually wrong. Oh how I wish I could truly learn to wait on Him. I think I'm getting better.

Right now, God has opened a door for me to be involved with a new ministry. Something I didn't see coming AT ALL but that is very exciting to me. Things are just developing, so there's not much to say, but I can say this - the potential impact of this ministry is incredible. I am so humbled that God would choose to use me to help bring this thing to life. I'm sure I'll be writing more about it. I'm just trying to practice waiting on God and not jump ahead before He gives the "ok!"

About marriage

Today, I was pondering love, relationships and marriage. Having just ended a relationship with a guy, it's been on my mind some. :) As a quick aside, I must say - the ending to this relationship hasn't been nearly as bad as others I've experienced and best of all, I've grown so much (I think) as a person and in my relationship with Christ. There are a lot of good things that have come from the relationship and I'm glad for that.

Nevertheless, back to pondering marriage. I was driving along, thinking about what my expectations of marriage are - you know, a good relationship with God at the center, lots of love, great communication, having fun with each other, being able to enjoy life and work through the hard times, etc. - isn't that what everyone wants? Anyway, I had a thought bounce across my mind: What if God's plan for my life doesn't include that kind of marriage? What if I am supposed to marry someone who isn't all he could be and our relationship suffers because of it? What if God wants to use that to grow something in me (or him) for a greater purpose? What if God asked me to be like Hosea and marry someone who is unfaithful (not necessarily in a sexual way, but in a spiritual sense)? Would God be enough in my life to help me deal with that? Oh dear. It definitely put a new spin on things.

Something I've thought about a lot since the break-up is this: what if we give up on people too quickly? What if the other person is just about to break through to a new level and all they need is someone to hang in there with them? What if that other person needs another chance, or another 3 chances or even another 10 chances to get things right and we give up without even giving them a half-chance? Now, I'm not talking about giving a second chance to someone who is abusive or has serious issues that need dealing with. I'm talking about giving second chances to those who, like all of us, are struggling to find out just what it is God has called them to be or do and in the process of their growth, they really mess up and hurt people.

I don't have an answer. I know that it certainly is easier to just give up and walk away. Sometimes, that is exactly what needs to happen. But I wonder how often it really should happen. We are such a "microwave" generation. We want everything "NOW" and we want it perfect. All of life's problems on tv are fixed in 30 minutes, so when it takes weeks, months or maybe even years to deal with things in the real world, we get so impatient and throw in the towel....and I bet we often give up right on the verge of a major breakthrough or even a miracle.

Like I said, I do not have an answer. All I know is that this kind of thinking assures me that I need Christ at the front of my life so that I will make the right choices. I can't even imagine comtemplating marriage with someone without the benefit of Christ's direction and guidance. I don't know how non-believers make it. It seems hard enough even with God's help! At least I don't have to worry too much about it right now. :) Still waiting on God's man for me!

I wonder...

What would happen if we as believers, instead of asking each other on Sunday, "How are you doing?" started asking "What has God done in your life this week?" or "How did you let God use you to minister to others this week?" or how about this one, "What did God speak to you through His word this week?"

I wonder....

What would happen if, when we went out into the streets to minister to the lowly and downtrodden, those bound by sin, we expected to see the same kind of miracles that happened in the New Testament? You know....people healed, demons cast out, people set free from sin...

I wonder....

What would life be like if we actually started walking in the power given to us by the Holy Spirit?

I think we would see some incredible things...the towns and cities in which we live would be turned upside down...people would call us fanatics...we would certainly face ridicule and persecution - you start seeing people healed and set free from addictions there are businesses that would suffer - some folks would lose a lot of money.

It would be interesting - no doubt about it. It would be exciting. It would be a challenge.

It would be awesome!

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father." John 14:12

Memorial stones

We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future, your children will ask, 'What do these stones mean to you?' Joshua 4:6

Are there certain smells or sounds that take you back to a good memory from your past? Or maybe even a bad memory? Perhaps a song on the radio or a phrase from a movie reminds you of a time and place that have special meaning to you. I don't think it is an accident that we have these triggers or memorial stones in our lives. God, in His divine wisdom, knew that we would have short-term memory...that we would get so caught up in our current situations and forget those good memories unless there was a way to be taken back to those times and places of special meaning.

Sometimes these memorial stones show up unexpectedly and bring a little sunshine to our day. Sometimes, we have to dig and search to find those memorial stones so that we can be reminded of the things God has done in our lives. Recently, my pastor shared about how something in his spirit he thought was lost to him was restored simply by going back and reading through passages in the King James Version of the Bible. He said it was like coming home. For him, reading those passages reminded him of a time in his life where God had moved in some powerful ways - it was a memorial stone that brought him back to God and refreshed him. It's been fun to watch the difference in him.

Over the past couple of days, I, too, have had a similar experience.

Music has always been the way I most worship God. It speaks to that deep part of my spirit that allows me to communicate with God in a way I just don't experience in prayer. Usually, when I'm having a hard time or just feel separated from God, I'll keep the praise and worship music going. The other day, I was discussing something with my friend, when she mentioned a song from a particular cd. The song is "Take Up Your Cross" and it was from the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir cd, "Live...We Come Rejoicing". I got that cd somewhere in the mid 90's and it was during a time of my life where I was growing in the Lord and really learning about Him. It was a good time. So when she mentioned the song, I immediately pulled out the cd and set it with my stuff so that I could listen to it at work the next day.

I listened to that cd (actually, I have two of their cd's so I listened to both of them) all day long. Immersing myself in that music reminded me of a time where God showed Himself faithful to me and helped me to finally let go of something that has been holding me back. I feel refreshed and energized in a way I haven't felt for quite some time.

I've learned a valuable lesson. I think it is great when we are reminded of God's faithfulness when we least expect it, but it is also very important to go back and find those memorial stones, or mile markers, from our journey of faith that force us to remember what God has done. I had forgotten some things...but by going back to this memorial stone from my life, I now remember. And now I feel like I'm going to break through to that next level that I've been unable to reach.

What memorial stones have been left on your journey of faith? Do you need to go back and visit them and be reminded of what God has done in your life? Don't get so caught up in the here and now and the destination you are killing yourself to get to, that you forget to reflect on where you've been. Those memorial stones are there for a reason.

Walkin' streets of gold...

The last of my great aunts and uncles (on my dad's side of the family) died last night. Aunt Claudia was a remarkable woman and lived a very interesting life. I will always and forever remember her because of one scripture: Numbers 6:24-26

The LORD bless you, and keep you; The LORD make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace.'

Aunt Claudia put that scripture on every piece of correspondence she ever mailed me. I think I learned that scripture right after John 3:16. :) It holds a special place in my heart, because I always knew she was praying for me.

Over the past few years, she would always ask if I had met anyone special and was planning on getting married anytime soon. Of course, that hasn't happened yet, but I'm hoping that she'll put in a good word for me up there in heaven. (Just kidding!) I'm sure she's too busy loving on the One who gave her hope and peace throughout her life.

Aunt Claudia had a big impact on my spiritual life. When I was a young teenager, her granddaughter, Heather, and I, would spend the night with her in her cute two-bedroom apartment. We thought we were the stuff! :) I loved to go there, because we would sit up later than my usual bedtime, talking about life and Jesus and living for Him. She would tell stories of her life and how the only way she had made it was depending on her Savior. From stories I would hear later in life, it turns out she was, at times, a bit wild in her younger years and so had experienced some hard times in her life. But one thing that always stood out to me, from all the stories she told and the stories I heard later on - once she gave her life to Christ, she never looked back. Her faith in the Creator of the universe never faltered - oh, I'm sure she had struggles just like the rest of us - but she always knew that God was in control and He would take care of her and her family.

I will definitely miss that lady. I'm glad I got to spend some time with her last year - although I wish I had made more time for her. I knew that I would regret not getting to see her more, yet I still didn't make the time. But - I'm kind of glad. I can remember her as that spunky lady who didn't mince words and would love on you with everything within her. She was and still is an awesome testament to God's faithfulness. I only hope my life will reflect God in the same way.

I love you, Aunt Claudia! Hope you're having a blast with Jesus right now!

Deeper still...

God is taking me to deeper levels. It is an interesting thing to experience. I'm always amazed at how He reinforces His message/lesson to me through His Word, other people, and things I read.

I've got a ton of things going through my mind, but haven't been able to put them into cogent, coherent thoughts. Hopefully, I'll have something of value to share soon. :)

Change is in the air...

Have you ever had a sense that things are about to change? Well, I'm having that feeling right now. The question is this - is it just a wish or desire I have that things in my life would change because I want that or is the Holy Spirit giving me a heads up about future events? I feel restless, a little dissatisfied and very watchful, but I don't really know what is happening. Either way - I'm going to get ready.

If what I'm feeling is simply a desire I have, then that means I might make decisions that will bring about change. This could be good or bad - so I need to make sure I'm listening to God and being obedient to His will in my life.

On the other hand, if what I'm feeling is the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart, then I need to be prepared to deal with whatever is coming up. That also means being able to hear what God is saying and be obedient to His will.

The truth is, regardless of where the "feeling" is coming from, I realize I just need to trust God, listen to what He is saying and be obedient.

Something else I realized yesterday is this - I don't know as much as I think I do. Duh! It is easy to make assumptions about things when you are looking from one perspective, but that can be dangerous and lead to bad decisions. So, that's why I'm trying to be real cautious when it comes to this feeling of change. I'm only looking at things from what I see and know; God can see the whole picture, so I'm going to turn to Him for direction.

I only wish that trusting God - completely - wasn't such a struggle for me.

Passion for God

I heard a sermon the other day in which the speaker asked the audience, "What are you passionate about?" She said that one way you could tell is to think about what it is that keeps you awake at night. What is the last thing on your mind when you go to sleep? I was so convicted by her words.

Most nights, even though God isn't far from my thoughts (because I'm usually talking to Him about my problems), He isn't usually the center of my thoughts. I can't remember the last time I laid awake, thinking about how good God is or how awesome He is. In fact, here lately, there haven't been many times where I have been consumed just by thoughts of God - I'm usually consumed with going to Him to help me in a desperate situation - more than likely one of my own creation!

I want that to change. I want God to be my focus. I want to be consumed by thoughts of who He is, and how great He is, how wonderful, and gracious, and mighty He is. So what I find myself doing these days is this: when I'm overwhelmed by that issue or issues that want to steal my joy and my focus from Christ, I'm choosing to concentrate on Him. It's not easy. There usually ends up being a back and forth struggle in my thoughts. But it sure is beginning to get easier to dwell on God and His greatness instead of the situation over which I have no control.

There is a song I've recently come to love. It is by Shane Barnard of "Shane & Shane". I really like their musical style. This song is especially relevant to this topic.

yearn
by shane barnard

holy design
this place in time
that i might seek and find my God
my God

Lord i want to yearn for You
i want to burn with passion
over You and only You
Lord i want to yearn

Your joy is mine
yet why am i fine
with all my singing and bringing grain
in light of Him

oh You give life and breath
through Him You give all things
in Him we live and move
that's why i sing

acts 17:25-28, hebrews 12:28-29

Firebird

Here is a picture of my kite in flight!!

I'm glad March is almost over!

This has been a busy month. First I took a trip to Fort Worth - loved it, and can't wait to go back - and now I'm in LA - Lower Alabama, that is! :) I'm here for a staff retreat. Don't feel jealous - it's a working retreat - but we do have some free time tomorrow. I can't wait - I'm going to the beach to fly my kite! A friend gave me two kites for Christmas - they're big...the one I brought with me has a wing span of about 48" (I think) and it looks like a huge bird. It's really pretty. :) Anyway, I hope there is a really good breeze. I want it to fly for quite a while. :)

I'm tired - so I'm off to bed!

Confession

Ok, I changed my mind. Actually, God convicted me and I had to change my mind. I un-subscribed from eHarmony. The main reason I did was because I didn't actually talk to God about my decision to join up - it was an impulsive decision.

The whole focus of my life is to honor and please God, and one way I want to do that is through my finances. That is the main reason I had to un-subscribe. I didn't really have the money to spend on it - joining eHarmony is not a "necessity" right now. There may come a day when I have the extra funds to do it again, but for now, I'm out. :)

The other reason I cancelled, as I mentioned, was because I made an impulsive decision. There were a lot of thoughts working in my mind that led me to do it, and after a couple of days of reflection, I realized my motivation wasn't right. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say, I was in it for the wrong reasons.

So, I'm back "off the market" - so to speak. Well, actually, I guess I'm not. As long as I'm trusting God, He will bring the right person into my life at just the right time. I can't wait to see how He works that all out. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to focus my attention on knowing God and allowing Him to direct my life as He sees fit. At the moment - He is opening some really cool doors, and I'm excited by what He is doing. There are going to be some awesome things happening - I just know it!

Oops, I did it again!

Ok, "oops" might not be the right thing to say. I knew full well what I was doing when I did it. I have joined eHarmony again...put myself "back on the market" so to speak...but just for six months. I'm excited to see who I might get the opportunity to meet.

The last time I was a member of eHarmony I was matched with a bunch of guys, but only met (face to face) two of them - one guy lives in the same town and is now engaged to another woman. He is a really nice guy and we are friends. (Hi, Al!) I'm excited for him and his fiancee. The other guy I just met for the first time last year (after talking off and on for 2 years). It seemed like it might work out well, but things just kind of fizzled out. I'm still puzzled over it.

Anyway, I felt like it was time to move on, but more importantly, I need the distraction. It will be fun to get new "matches" and have the opportunity to meet some guys. Even though there's an underlying thought of "Maybe I'll meet The One!", the truth is, I've only ever seen eHarmony as a way to meet and make new friends. (After all, aren't you supposed to be friends first?!?) The church I attend is not laden with single men and because of several commitments in my life, I don't have much opportunity to get out to meet guys (I DO NOT go to bars and the like - those are just not places I'd want to meet someone.)

The other thing is this - I truly am not "looking" for Mr. Right. I read an article on Crosswalk.com the other day that really spoke to me. The author of the article suggested that it is the guy's job to find a wife. The Bible says that "he who finds a wife finds a good thing..." (Proverbs 18:22) So what I'm doing right now is working on being the best "me" I can be. I am becoming the woman God has called me to be. I do believe that if I focus my attention on God and His plans for my life, He will allow my path to cross with the man who will be my husband. I'm just putting myself in a new "walkway" by joining up on eHarmony. :) Hehehe.

Seriously though - it is going to be fun. I am looking forward to the new friendships I will form. Who knows, I might need to meet one of these guys not for myself, but for one of my other single girlfriends! (I have a bunch of them!) How cool would that be?!?

Dry spell

I hate when this happens. I seem to get quiet when I'm not hearing a lot from God. (Of course, I was out of town for five days, but that's neither here nor there!) Things are quiet right now from Him, too. I'm still hearing "WAIT". *sigh* I don't like it, but I'm trying to get to the place where I enjoy the waiting.

You know, the other day I made a comment to myself about someone....that he is all about the "destination" - getting where he's going - and not the journey and that he was going to miss some things along the way. Turns out, I am guilty of doing the same thing. It's so easy to point fingers, isn't it? I didn't think that I was doing that, but all day today I've been struggling with myself over a certain issue - I want to know how it is all going to turn out. Basically, I want to get to the destination...the end result. Of course, as my focus remains on that end point, I'm sure there is plenty that is passing right on by me. I'm sure what I'm missing most is the still, small voice of God calling out to me, which I don't hear well because of my own moaning and complaining. God, forgive me!

So the immediate result of my lack of focus is that I am not living that abundant life I wrote about in my last post. It is my own fault - no one else's. I'm just glad God is getting through so that I can re-focus my attention and live in that abundant life He has planned for me.

Living with abandon

"I have come that they might have life, and have it more abundantly." John 10:10

I love the fact that God is a persistent lover of my soul. So many things are becoming clear to me, but what is shouting out to me from reviewing my thoughts and feelings and ideas is the fact that God is pursuing me! "O Love that will not let me go." I've heard that many times and always felt like I didn't get it - and I didn't - until now. He is so awesome! He does not leave me alone - and I am glad. So very glad.

The thoughs my pastor shared with us today seem to just fit right in with the lesson of my life - trusting God. He was talking about what is required to realize miracles in our lives and used the example of Peter praying for Tabitha (Acts 9) and her coming back to life. He made several points, but the one that really spoke to me was this: Peter took a chance. After he had cleared the room of everyone, and remembered what he had seen Jesus do, Peter took a chance and did exactly as Christ did. He probably had thoughts like: "What will happen if this doesn't work?" "What will people think?" "Jesus, don't fail me now!" But it didn't stop him from going ahead and uttering the words, "Tabitha, get up!" The result was this - a woman was raised from the dead.

The whole idea of "taking a chance" has been something hovering around the edges of my consciousness for a while. I touched on it a bit in my previous post. Today it has become clear to me that the people who take chances are usually the ones who may fail big, but they more than likely "make it" big. They accomplish miracles. They see amazing things. They live life with abandon. No holds barred. Life is never dull for these people. I want to be and have that.

As I was driving home from church, I was reminded by the Holy Spirit that I've often prayed for a marriage that is above average - something special and not ordinary. What I was really praying for (and didn't realize it until now) was that I want a life (not just a marriage) that is above average....extraordinary. I don't want the run-of-the-mill life. I want that abundant life Christ talks about. I want to live with total and complete abandon.

So beginning today, I am deciding to choose the options that lead to a life of wild abandon in Christ. I know I can trust my heavenly Father to be there with me. In fact, He'll be there running beside me. He'll be the one running ahead of me, calling out to me to "come this way!" He'll play "hide and seek" with me so that I will continue to search for Him - but I know I will find Him, because He's told me so. This will probably mean my decisions will drive people crazy. They won't understand or they'll tell me I'm making a wrong choice. It won't matter. My life is in God's hands - not theirs. I trust Him.

Here's to living with abandon....I'm believing it will be an interesting experience!

Trusting God

For the first time, I really feel like I actually shared something of real value with the kids in my youth group. Our topic tonight was trusting God - the apparant object lesson of my life for the past six months. I guess that's why I feel like I actually did some good tonight. I really connected - I could tell it in the eyes of one of the kids. Do you know how awesome it is to see a teenager wrestling with the great truths of God's Word and how to apply those truths to their lives? Wow...I'm still amazed that God wants to use me for this.

I just love how God makes Himself known to me - even more - when I share with others the lessons I've learned. One of the most valuable lessons I've learned, came from my best friend - we usually know the answer to the question we're dealing with way deep down inside, but it sometimes doesn't come to the surface until we are talking to someone else about it. That sort of thing happened for me tonight.

I told the group that it isn't enough to simply say we trust - there has to be action behind it. Our scripture reference was Mark 2:1-11 - the story of the four men who dug through the roof to get their paralyzed friend to Jesus. They didn't just tell their friend, "Hey man, Jesus can heal you! I believe it, and you should too!!" No, they did whatever it took to get him to Jesus. They didn't let excuses stop them - "If we break their roof, how are we going to fix it?" "How in the world are we going to get him up to the roof - I'm not strong enough?" "What will these people think?" They did WHATEVER IT TOOK to get that man to Jesus. I posed the question to my youth, "What are you willing to do to get to Jesus for your answer?" Of course, as I'm challenging them, the Holy Spirit is working in me. Many of my struggles from the past few weeks, suddenly dimmed or disappeared in the light of that question. "What am I willing to do to get to Jesus and trust Him for my answer?" Am I willing to bear pain, sorrow, a lack of understanding the circumstances I'm in, fear of the unknown, or even a fear that I won't get what I want? Isn't that last one a crazy question? "....that I won't get what I want?" Don't I want God's will for my life? And if so, don't I trust that scripture in Jeremiah 29 that says His plans are "not to harm me" but "to give me a future and a hope"?

This past week has definitely been a soul-searching one. I absolutely trust God with every aspect of my life. Have for some time. It's just that now I'm having to put some action with that faith and walk out that trust minute by minute. It hasn't been easy, and it is by no means over, but already I can see that God is working in me. I believe I will be stronger and more sure in my faith-walk. Perhaps I will need that confidence and strength for another day, and it will be exactly what I need because it was tried in the fire of today.

How Great is Our God

song by Chris Tomlin

The splendor of a King
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps Himself in light
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

Chorus-
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb

Bridge-
Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

I love this song. God makes Himself known to me in new ways each day. I have learned much about knowing Him and just being with Him over the past three weeks. Even though circumstances aren't any different, and I still don't know the outcome of things, I KNOW He is in control and has everything in hand.

I can't imagine trying to live without God's presence in my life.