I'm in a funk.
I'm not depressed or upset about anything. In fact, besides being a little strapped for cash, life is good. I love my house, my roommates, my job, my family, my church.....you name it, it's good.
It's just me, I think.
I know what part of it is. There are some things God is trying to work out of me :) (of course that's loads of fun!) It's been interesting the things God has been speaking to me through the pastor at my church. The good news is - I'm not the only one being affected!
It all comes down to the fact that dying daily - dying to my wants and desires - is a difficult thing. I did not realize how much I was still holding on to. My pastor made this statement a couple of weeks ago - "Your commitment to Christ is not measured by what you give up, but by what you keep."
Think about it!
Sometimes, it's easy to give up those things the Christian community would label "obvious" sins - drinking, promiscuity, drugs, stealing, cheating...you know what I mean. But when it comes time to go a bit deeper in your walk and God asks you to give up other stuff (attitudes, personal ambitions, pride - just to name some) it's a bit more difficult. We feel justified in our attitudes and opinions. We get comfortable with life the way it is. Then, the Holy Spirit comes along and pricks our conscience about an attitude we may have or nudges us while we're watching a movie or tv show and whispers "How much time have you spent with me today."
It's crazy - I know what I need to do. I just need to get motivated to do it. I know God will bless me. I know He has my best interests at heart. I know, too, that one day, I'll look back on this moment and time and say, "If I had only known then what I know now! That was nothing!"