More thoughts on Jesus

I did it again. I went to see "The Passion of The Christ" again tonight. Whew. I'm telling you, God is going to do something among His people through that movie. I just believe it.

This time as I watched it, I was able to think more about the film and about Jesus and what His sacrifice really means. The first time you see the film, you are so overwhelmed with what's taking place, you can't really think about it. It is really an emotionally taxing experience the first time around. However, I think that is a good thing. It certainly helped to ignite a new passion in me.

Anyway, on to tonight....as I was watching the movie, I was again overwhelmed with the question of "Why?" Why would the God of all creation bother? What is it about us that caused Him to willingly send His Son to suffer so that we might live in eternity with Him - in spite of the fact that we have rejected Him and will continue to fail Him? I must admit, I still can't get my mind around that. If it were me, I wouldn't have created Adam and Eve in the first place! (Aren't you glad I'm not God?)

As I was (and still am) pondering this, I realized that I don't have a clue what love is. God's love is what motivated Him to offer Jesus as a sacrifice for our sins. That kind of love certainly doesn't fit into my understanding of what love is. To me, I guess it has always been about the "good feeling" - whether it's a good feeling about that special someone or around family and friends. But God's love isn't about a feeling. It's about a choice.

I'm sure as Christ was being beaten, spit upon, mocked, insulted, humiliated and tortured, He didn't "feel" like being there. At any time, He could have gotten up from that whipping post or come down off the cross and said "forget it!!" But He didn't. As Max Lucado writes, "Jesus himself chose the nails." Revelation 13:8 tells us that Jesus is "the Lamb who was killed before the world was made." Before He spoke creation into existence, He knew He would have to die to redeem it. How many of us could make that kind of choice? As I said, I still can't get my mind around it.

It does make me want to give my everything to Him. It's the least I can do. And not to try and repay Him, for I could never do that. I want to give Him my everything simply to worship Him and thank Him for what He did.

As I was driving home, I called a good friend of mine to talk about the movie and Jesus' sacrifice. We got to comparing notes about our lives over the past couple of weeks, and for both of us, it seems like everything we've read or listened to is pointing to Christ. I've talked with other people about this as well and the same is true for them. As a Christian, this should have been my focus all along, I know, but over the past week or so, there seems to be an extra emphasis on Jesus. In fact, over the past 6-8 months, God has been telling me to "know" Jesus. I just haven't done it. So anyway, as I'm talking with my friend, this thought flashes through my mind: "what if God is focusing our attention on Christ and His suffering because of what is in the near future for us as believers." I'll be honest - that thought scared me half to death.

After seeing this movie for the first time, my heart screamed that I could, and would, face anything knowing that Christ had suffered like that for me. Well, after some time to reflect, I've wondered if, when the really hard times come, will I be able to face them and not turn my back on Christ? Will I endure to the end? This is where it will be my choice to love Him. When it comes down to it, I will have to make a choice to either follow Him and possibly be sacrificed or follow my own way and not suffer. Jesus says in John 12:25 that "those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who despise their life in this world will keep it for eternal life." Oh, that I will trust in His promises when suffering comes my way.

So those are the thoughts on my mind as I try to go to sleep tonight. I have never examined my life and commitment to Christ like I have over the past week. It is a sobering experience.

My heart is ever more longing for the time when I am in the throne room of heaven - in the presence of my Savior, Redeemer and Friend - singing "blessing and honor and glory and power belong to the One sitting on the throne and to the Lamb forever and ever."