Getting nervous

I feel silly. My interview for a part-time job is this afternoon and I am getting nervous. What's that all about? Perhaps it's because deep down I wonder, "What if they don't like me?" or even "What if they like me and I get the job!?!?!?" It's crazy.....I admit it.

Of course, it all boils down to this one thing: change. As I've written before, change is the one thing we can count on in our lives. Even though I've dealt with a lot of changes in my life, I'm always amazed at how some changes are harder to deal with. I guess it's because some changes represent a failure or a goal that hasn't been achieved. I don't like those kinds of changes.

The fact that I need a part-time job is a result of a failure to manage my finances better. And I don't like that. You see, if I get this job, I know there will be people I know who will see me and think, "Gosh, I can't believe Christy is working two jobs! That's a shame." Of course, they probably won't think that, but even if they did - so what? Right? I don't usually do things or base my life around what others may think, but I can't help but think about it anyway.

The other thing I ponder is what if this isn't what God wants me to do? Will I hear his voice or am I trying to "fix" things again?

*sigh*

I guess I'll just go and see what happens. More later on....