I forgot to mention....

Well, I didn't actually forget, I just didn't want to write about it.

I am no longer in the motorcycle ministry. There are several reasons why, but the most important reason I got out was because I do not have a motorcycle. One day, I really would like to have one, but it won't be soon. So, I didn't feel it was in keeping with a "motorcycle" ministry to be the secretary/treasurer and not have a bike. There weren't any hard feelings on anyone's part - they appreciated my service and understood my position - so I'm glad for that.

However, I sorely miss the fellowship. I really feel like something is missing in my life - and it is, to some extent. I will not be spending time with those people (whom I dearly love) like I once did. Oh sure, we are all still friends, but there is something about spending time with people on a consistent basis that makes life interesting. My life is now a little more dull....it's changed. I thought I was at a place in my life where change wasn't hard to deal with. I've had a lot of change in my life, so I thought I had a grasp on dealing with it - but, alas, I was wrong.

I think that's part of the reason for my funk over the past few weeks. I just didn't want to be around people. But things are getting better. I see God opening a new door in my life: becoming friends with my neighbors. Right now, I'm having to shake off the dust and sharpen my spiritual skills. I've always understood that you learn more about God and grow spiritually when you pour into the lives of others. I had sort of gotten out of that, but, once again - that's changing! God has allowed my path to cross with several people who need a true friend and more importantly, they need Him. I think He's placed me where I am for a reason. Now I'm seeking Him so that I can hear His voice when He speaks and respond with a willing heart. It's a little scary, but I am excited.

That's the other side of change - once you get past the hurt and sadness over what was, you can then look forward to what is and what will be. Time to roll up my sleeves and jump in with both feet!

Dreams and Drama

A couple of weeks ago, I finally found a DVD version of a couple of my favorite movies: "Anne of Green Gables" and "Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel". I absolutely love the books, and the producers of these films have done a fabulous job of bringing the book to film. I first saw these films on PBS when I was about 10 or 12. I then started reading the books - the film was cut into 30 minute segments, so I didn't get to see the "end of the story"! After reading the books, I wanted my life to be like that.

I think what I like best about the story is the innocence and simplicity of life. Oh, how I wish life was really like that. My other favorite part of the story is the romance between Anne and Gilbert. *sigh* What a great love story! Anyway, since Saturday, I've watched both movies (a total of 7+ hours!) There is another movie, "Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story", which I don't have yet. I hope to get it soon!

So, last night, I finish watching the second movie and go outside to hang out with my roommate, Meagan, on the porch. Soon Dee Dee comes home and we're all hanging out when a huge disturbance breaks out at our neighbors house. Here is the story at it's most basic level: a girl, her boyfriend and another guy were living in the house next door. Girl and boyfriend break up last week - he comes back this week and first steals the dog, crashes into a fence down the street (tore up his truck!) and nearly runs into someone driving down the road (that all happened on Sunday night); last night he comes back to get more of his stuff (his dad brought him) he trashes the house, and gets into fight with ex-girlfriend and her brother. Well about the time the brawl is taking place on their front lawn, these guys in a car stop to watch and then flag down a cop car that was driving by. The cop turns around and acts like he's going to arrest the ex-boyfriend and girl's brother....but of course, the paperwork would be too much trouble so he lets them go. Evidently, the girl is going to press charges against ex-boyfriend (who happens to be on probation for something else) and he will go to jail anyway.

Needless to say, it was an interesting night and our neighbors are most assuredly interesting! I foresee many entertaining nights in the neighborhood this summer. We're supposed to be having a block party sometime in June. I can't wait! For all of our neighbor's quirks, they really are nice people and we (our neighborhood) are forming a bond that is very cool. Many of them don't know God or care about knowing him...at least for now. :) I hope that the love of Christ will shine through me and touch them.

I truly believe this will be a summer like none I've ever had!

New Look

Thanks to blogger.com for the new capabilities! I decided to take advantage of the new features they are providing and therein lies the reason for the new look. I really like it. Unfortunately, I haven't had time to dive into web design and CSS (cascading style sheets) like I really want to do. I want to be able to design my own site...one day. :)

I hope to have my picture back up again soon. There is a problem with the blogger system (that hasn't been fixed yet, but they are working on it) that won't allow me to link to my picture on the ftp server.

Hope everyone has had a good week so far. My week started out rough, but today something happened that reminded me of just how much God cares for each of us.

As I was driving home this evening, a rain shower - a very heavy rain shower - set in. So, I'm driving along, talking on the phone to my mom when I notice this woman on the side of the road, standing under a flimsy umbrella trying not to get totally soaked by the rain. It wasn't working. I mean, it was pouring rain. Evidently, she was waiting for the city bus. It about broke my heart to see her like that, so the thought went through my head to turn around and offer her a ride home. Mind you, all of this is happening in mere seconds. Now, I'm on a four-lane road, one of the busiest in town, and I thought "there is no way I can get turned around...the traffic is too heavy." Just as the thought is finishing in my head, I look up and there is absolutely no traffic coming. Again...all within seconds. I turn my car around and pull into the parking lot where she was standing. By the time I've gotten to her, there is a man standing there with her too. What else could I do but offer the both of them a ride home? They hurriedly accepted my offer and jumped into the car. Both of them were drenched! I asked them where they lived and tell them I would be glad to take them home. They both lived on the other side of town!!!

As any of you who know me personally will tell, I don't usually meet a stranger. :) I began asking them questions about where they work, their family and if they attended church anywhere. It was a neat conversation. The woman, Cynthia, does attend church and she kept thanking God for his blessings. She's a really neat lady. The guy, Clifton, talked about how he wants to attend church and that he's visited around some, but he hasn't been in church for a while. He has some issues in his life, so I encouraged him to get involved in a good body of believers. We definitely need to be in fellowship with other believers so that we can learn from them and be encouraged in the faith.

Anyway, it was just an awesome experience. All of the things that happened for me to even notice Cynthia standing in the rain could only have happened because of God's hand. Through the whole experience, I was reminded of just how much God knows about each of our lives and how much He cares about what happens to us. Some people might consider this experience to be a coincidence, but I don't believe that for one second. I believe in Divine appointments and this was definitely one of those! How cool is that?

I can't wait to see what God has in store for me next!

Making Changes

As you can see, I've made some changes. To all my friends on my blogroll....I hope to have that back up soon. Just working through some kinks.

Please excuse the mess, but I hope to have it set right before too muich longer!

Breaking through

I always hate when I let this happen. God starts opening doors in various ways, and I sort of shut down. I don't understand myself at times.

It has been a somewhat weird week (or two). I haven't been in God's Word like I should. That is a guaranteed way to start things at a disadvantage. The crazy thing is I know how much I need to be in God's Word right now. There are some new people in my life - neighbors where I live - who desperately need to know Jesus. They are really neat people and I like them a lot, but their lives are empty and they are searching for Someone to fill it (even though they don't know it). I know God has put me where I am for a purpose, and I want to fulfill that purpose. I also know that when God is moving, so is the enemy. Therefore - I need to be prepared. But have I been doing that? Oh no. Not me. I've just been coasting along. I don't know what I'm waiting for.

But...I can see the Light. I know I have to get up and shake the dust off and get busy. People's lives could depend on my preparedness. That is a scary thought. Perhaps that is what put me in neutral. The overwhelming realization that God wants to use me to impact people's lives. I'm only getting what I asked for.

You see, I work for a ministry and most, if not all, of my close friends are Christians. Up until last summer, I had been praying that God would put me in places where I could meet people who need to know Him. Well, He did! He moved me smack in the middle of a bunch of them! Now that He wants to get the ball rolling, I practically shut down. Arrgggh! I get so frustrated with myself!

I'm just so glad God is patient with me. I hope I will reflect His patience when dealing with people who need to experience it for themselves.

Home alone

It would seem that I've come to a place in my life that I don't necessarily like being alone. :) Both of my roommates went home to Illinois for Mother's Day, and I'm bored! You get used to having people around....even if they're not physically present, you still know they'll be coming home sometime that day. I'll be glad when they get home on Monday.

Fortunately, I am not really alone. My family lives close by, and in fact, I spent the night with my sister-in-law and the kids. My niece, Hannah, wanted me to spend the night, so after I finished babysitting for this couple, I packed up and went to my brother's house. (He works night shift, so it was just his wife and the four kids at home.) Anyway, I get there around 10:45 and by 11:15, my two nieces, who stayed up waiting for me, were fast asleep! It was still fun!

I'm excited about tomorrow. I've invited my family over for lunch tomorrow (since I have the house to myself!) We're celebrating Mother's Day. Let me tell you what we did for my mom - it was fun pulling it off!

A couple of years ago, I got my mom a cell phone on my account. At the time I got her an account, I bought a new phone so she just used my old one (that way she didn't have to buy a new phone.) Well, anyway, she's been using that phone ever since and it is old! A few months ago, I got a new phone and gave her my other one. It needed a battery, so she's not been able to use it (those durn batteries are expensive!)

Thursday, my youngest brother came by my office and asked me about her phone - he wanted to get her a battery for Mother's Day. It got me to thinking about what I was going to get my mother as a gift, so I came up with the thought of getting her a brand new phone - and letting all of us pitch in to get it. Since she is on my phone account, I can make changes and do all that stuff, so it was easy to do. I told him to come back after he got through working and we'd go to the store and hook her up. I thought more about it and after checking the balance on her account, decided it might be good to not only get her a new phone, but also pay what she owed for her current bill. Turns out, she's been going over her minutes and her bill has been high the last few months...so not only did we pay her balance, and get her a new phone, I put her on a new plan that would save her money. We were so excited! Of course, before I did all of this, I made the requisite phone calls to the other family members (my brother and his wife and my dad). They were all on board for doing it and so off we went!

The fun part was this...at the time they activated the new phone, her old one would no longer work. I was hoping she wasn't on an important phone call when we switched it over. I called her before we did it to see what she was up to. She was headed home, so I knew she wasn't going to be needing her phone for the next hour or so. We had the sales person activate the phone and then all of us kids (and the grandkids) converged on my parent's house to present her with her gift.

She was totally surprised! I was a bit disappointed that she hadn't tried to use her old phone. She didn't even know it wasn't working!!!! I wanted there to be a little more drama. :)

I love being sneaky when it comes to surprising people. I used to surprise my mom when I was away at college my freshman year. A couple of times, I just showed up at home when she thought I was having to stay at school. That was fun.

I hope all of you will do something special for and with your mom. For those of you whose mothers have passed on - I'm so sorry for your pain, but I hope you can celebrate with a glad heart the time you had with your mother and the impact she had on your life. I've watched my mom deal with her mother's death for the past 22 years, so I know the pain doesn't go away, you just learn to deal with it and remember with great fondness the special times that you shared with her.

Blessings to you all and Happy Mother's Day!

The things we take for granted...

It is amazing how much we take for granted. For instance....eyesight. Now, I thank God for a lot of things, but I believe I'll be adding my eyesight as one of the mentionables.

Today I had an eye exam. My eyes have been bugging me for a while and it had been a year since my last exam, so I went to see the doctor. Turns out the diopter strength of my left eye, which also has an astigmatism, had changed by +2! My right eye just changed by +.75. No wonder I was having trouble seeing!

So, of course, I had to get my eyes dilated to make sure there wasn't something else wrong. When I left the opthalmologist's office, I was having a hard time seeing! Everything was blurry! I was so glad it was a bright, sunshiny day, otherwise I would have never made it back to the office! I don't know why I went back to work....I couldn't see to do anything. I had to squint my eyes and get real close to the monitor to even read email. It was crazy!

On top of that, here it is almost seven hours later, and my vision is still blurred. My eyes make me look like I've smoked pot - they are still quite dilated! I hope everything will be back to "normal" tomorrow.

Unfortunately, the doctor had to order the contact for my left eye, so it won't be here until probably the first of next week. That means the vision in my left eye will be a bit off. I've lived with it for a few weeks, I guess another few days won't matter. That also means that my contacts will now cost me a good deal more. I'll be getting my glasses prescription filled! I guess I'll be wearing them much more frequently. Hey....another accessory for my new look! :)

So I said all that to say this: I miss seeing clearly and promise to not take my sight for granted again! It's a shame you have to lose something (or lose the use of that thing) in order to appreciate the benefits of having it. I'm sure I'd feel the same way if I lost my hearing or sense of touch, etc., etc. It makes me wonder what other things are in my life that I take for granted. I know I assume my friends and family will be around - even though in the back of my mind there's the knowledge that people don't live forever.

I wonder if there are things I take for granted in my relationship with Christ? One thing that comes to mind is His grace. I know I so take that for granted - we all do. I haven't thought too long on it, but perhaps I should. I don't want to take my Savior for granted. As I write this, I'm reminded of images from "The Passion of the Christ." I don't ever want Christ's suffering to be cheapened because I didn't take time to be thankful for what He's done for me.

So as I remember to be thankful for my eyesight, I will try to remember to be thankful for other things I tend to overlook and forget.

Thank God! He's coming home!

Some good news out of Iraq today:

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - American hostage Thomas Hamill, kidnapped three weeks ago in an insurgent attack on his convoy, was found by U.S. forces Sunday south of Tikrit after he apparently escaped from his captors, the U.S. military said. An official said he was in good health.

Hamill, 43, of Macon, Miss., was discovered when he approached a U.S. patrol from the 2nd Battalion 108th Infantry, part of the New York National Guard, in the town of Balad, 35 miles south of Tikrit, a spokesman for U.S. troops in Tikrit said. More...

I'm so glad that this man is going to be coming home. My heart breaks whenever I hear of the men and women who give their lives so that others might experience a taste of what we enjoy here in America, but having someone from your neck of the woods involved in this type of situation makes the whole thing a bit more real. I do not know this man or his family, but have been praying that he would come home alive.

Continue to pray for the safety of our men and women serving in the armed forces. They are truly special people and deserve the utmost honor and respect. God bless them!

I survived!

It has been an interesting few weeks leading up to our banquet, and now I'm glad we're through it! I was exhausted on Friday! So exhausted, that I came home and went to sleep at 6:30 pm Friday evening and only woke up once at 1 am when my dog started barking because my roommate had come home from babysitting. I needed the sleep since I had to be at my babysitting job on Saturday morning at 7:30 am. I'm still tired, though, and will probably retire early tonight. :)

The banquet was fantastic! We had almost 800 people in attendance and I personally escorted our Governor and his Chief of Staff to their seats. Gov. Haley Barbour is really nice and I was so excited to have the privilege of escorting him. How cool is that? I wanted to work on his campaign last year when he was running for office, but I never was able to work that out. I really hate that I didn't make a greater effort to be involved. I hope to get more involved in local politics, since we have a mayoral race coming up soon. We desperately need some change!

Anyway, back to my original topic - God really blessed our banquet and hopefully allowed us to raise enough money to fund our budget a little more comfortably this year. One thing that is easy for people to forget is that doing "ministry" does cost - and we are so grateful for those people who support us as we try to impact the lives of athletes, coaches and all whom they influence. I am truly blessed to be a part of the ministry of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes.

Now, we have to go through the process of closing out the event and getting things ready for next year's event. We will sure be busy and then it's time to get ready for Camp!!! Never a dull moment in FCA, that's for sure!

Well, I guess I'll close for now. I might just go ahead and take a nap. I need to clean my part of the house (the living room & dining room) but I just don't want to. :) I'll just wait and do it tomorrow - after all....tomorrow is another day!

Countdown to a banquet...

Well, folks, it's the week of our big event - a banquet with about 800 people in attendance. It is going to be an interesting week!

I just wanted to let you know that posts will definitely be sparse this week. Unless something major happens and I get time to write about it. Who knows? It could be a news worthy week! :) (I don't see that happening, but you never know!)

So, if I don't get back here this week, please know I am thinking of all of you, my faithful readers. :) I hope you have a wonderful week - full of good things and God's blessings.

Until the next time....

Pictures of the hair

Ok, I finally snagged my roommate and had her take my picture. It's not the best picture (not because of Dee Dee's skills, but because of the lighting). Here they are:



Of course, pictures are never as good as seeing someone in person. I hope to get some good photos made soon. Tell me what you think!

Rave Reviews

The one other time I've cut off all my hair, I got so many compliments from people, I wish I had done it earlier. Same thing this time. It's kind of strange. I really did like my hair long. It was incredibly curly, and unlike most people with naturally curly hair, I loved it - and still do. I'm just having to adjust to the time it now takes to fix my hair.

I did have a picture made, but it wasn't that great. I may get my roommate to snap one later tonight. Right now, we're waiting for our food to cook on the grill. We got a late start! :)

Anyway, I will have pictures posted by the end of the week.

So, life right now is good. I'm extremely tired, but that will pass. I just missed some sleep last week and need to catch up. :) My poor roommate, Dee Dee, had a horrible day. She got hit with over $500 in expenses to fix her car. It wasn't something she expected or needed to happen. I see God working in so many ways in the lives of the people I know and love. It is interesting to watch. Especially in my own life. This past week, I didn't spend as much time with Him as I wanted or needed to and boy, could I tell! I'm working on changing that this week. I'll let you know how I do!

Well, it's time to go - food's ready! I'll post more later.

Time for a change

Ok, I did it. I made a huge change in my life. After nearly four years of careful nurturing, washing and brushing...I had 10 inches of my hair cut off! This is the second time in my adult life that I've made such a drastic change. I hope to have pictures up by the end of the weekend. Needless to say, I love it!

The good news is that all that hair has not gone to waste. I had it cut so that I could donate my hair to Locks of Love. This organization takes donated hair and makes wigs for children who have lost their hair. My roommate had said she was going to do it, and I knew that I would eventually want to get my hair cut, so I decided to grow it long enough for that purpose. I hope they can use my hair. Did you know it takes about 10 ponytails for them to make one wig? On their website, they say that most of the donated hair comes from children. What a great way to teach a child about giving. If I had a daughter, I sure would talk with her about doing this, especially if she had hair like mine - thick and curly.

I hope to get back on a more regular schedule this week. I have to admit - I didn't get enough sleep last week, and it was my own fault. I plan to correct that this week. :) Otherwise, I will be a bear by mid-week.

Anyway, more about the hairstyle change tomorrow. Blessings to you all!

Let me explain...

Well folks, it looks like my posts may be few and far between for the next two weeks. At work, I'm in the midst of preparing for a huge banquet (there will be around 900 people in attendance) so my work load has gotten very large. By the time I get home, I'm brain dead. On top of that, I may have a couple of babysitting jobs filling some of my evenings. When that happens, I'm not online. Gotta make some extra money.

Anyway, I do hope to get online from time to time. In fact, I may have something interesting to write about this weekend. We'll see. I know how plans have a tendency to change. :)

Well, I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter. Mine was fabulous. I spent the day with my family and a couple of friends from church. We had a wonderful time sitting around after lunch sharing stories. That, to me, is the best part of being with friends and family. I love hearing stories from people's lives.

I'm going to bed now, before I fall out of my chair. I've been having a hard time getting out of bed this week. My schedule has been so very messed up and I need to get it back on track! Aaagghhhh! Stop the world, I want to get off!!!!

Pray for us (me and the people I work with). This banquet is our main fundraiser. It can be a hard life working for a non-profit ministry! We need to sell a bunch of tickets to the banquet in the next week or so.

Until next time.....Have a blessed week!

Exhausted

I haven't been this worn out in a very long time. In fact, I can't believe I'm still up.

The fun began on Thursday night. My brother has moved to working nights, so my sister-in-law asked me to come and stay with her and the kids Thursday night. Ben was going to have the car and she's not comfortable being at home without the car being there. Plus, I didn't have to work on Friday, so it worked out great.

So, I go over to their house on Thursday night. Needless to say, the kids were jazzed that I was spending the night. They were a bit puzzled as to why their mom was going to be there. The few times I've spent the night at their house, their mom and dad were both in the hospital - either having a new baby or with some other situation.

Anyway, we had a good time. Watched "Cheaper by the Dozen" with Steve Martin. That is a funny movie. I was pleased to see that the movie portrayed a loving family dealing with difficult decisions. I thought it was excellent! After the movie was over, me and the oldest 2 - Hannah and Mackenzie - spread out all our blankets on the floor of the living room and got ready to go to sleep. Of course, they had to have the tv on for a bit, but we eventually turned it off and before we knew it, Mackenzie was asleep. My niece, Hannah, talked with me for a while. She asked me again why I didn't have a boyfriend. She so wants me to have kids so they can come and spend the night with her. :) How sweet!!!

Finally, she drifted off to sleep and I got off the floor and moved to the couch. I was so glad to not sleep on the floor! Well about 4:30 am Friday morning, I wake up and Hannah is lying on top of me, asleep. Sometime during the night she climbed up there. I rolled her back on to the floor and went back to sleep. 7:30 am rolls around and don't you know she is back on top of me! Not only that, but my other niece, Mackenzie, has awakened and is lying between my feet at the other end of the couch. That was fun, let me tell ya! :)

We later loaded everyone up and went to the park. That way, their dad could get some un-interrupted sleep. We had a blast!

But the fun does not end there!

My wonderful roommate, DeeDee, had given me a ticket to the Third Day concert for Valentine's Day (or as we call it - "Single Awareness Day"!) So we leave the house around 4:30 pm to get to the coliseum to be sure and get good seats. We were under the impression that the entire venue was "General Admission" and you could pick a seat anywhere. Well, we were wrong. :( Turns out, the floor was "General Admission". We had to stand for the entire concert!!!! Let me translate that into actual hours - we were on our feet for nearly 6 hours! We got in line at the coliseum at around 4:45 and the concert ended at 10:15.

As I said, I'm exhausted! But - the concert was AWESOME!!!!!! We had a blast. Warren Barfield opened the concert. He was really good. Then came Toby Mac, of DC Talk fame. He rocked the house!!! His part of the concert was so fast paced, we hardly knew an hour had gone by. Then, of course, came the best part of the show, Third Day. I'm telling you, they are the best group I've ever had the privilege of seeing in concert. I just love them. If you haven't ever listened to their music, you should stop what you're doing and go get one of their cd's! They are that good. Not only is their music good, but they really create an atmosphere of worship. Good stuff. No doubt about it!

So, I'm now about to go to bed. I can't wait! :) Just wanted to post a little of what's been happening in my world. Of course, underscoring all of my activities is the thought of the sacrifice Jesus made this weekend almost 2,000 years ago. I'm so thankful that He loved me enough to come and die for my sins, and then rose from the dead, that I might have the privilege of knowing Him as my Savior and Lord. I can't imagine my life without Christ. I wouldn't want to. Perhaps I'll post more about my thoughts on Easter later today.

Until then, good night!

Time to breathe...

Finally, everyone is out of the office....I can take a deep breath! I've got about one hour before I leave the office. We're going to a banquet about 2 1/2 hours away. It will be fun.

One hour. A lot can happen in an hour.

Sometimes, though, it seems like an hour isn't long enough. Like right now - an hour doesn't seem long enough for me to really dig into some of the stuff I need to work on. Just about the time I'd get into a groove, I'd have to close down and leave. It's almost not worth it. (Except that whatever time I give to that project is not really wasted, is it?)

I think I have that attitude far too often. "Well, there's no need for me to sit down and read the Bible right now. I don't have time to research what I read to help me understand it." Or how about: "I don't have time to call so-and-so. As soon as I call them to see what's going on or check on them, they'll want to talk for too long." There are times that this type of attitude is legitimate - there really isn't time. However, most times, I simply don't want to give the time it would take to do those things I should (but may not want to do).

I can really identify with Paul when he said, "When I want to do good, I don't. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway." (Romans 7:19) This is a continuous struggle for me, but I am getting better at doing the right thing. It all comes down to putting aside my own will and learning to walk in tune with the Spirit. Today's devotional from "God is Enough" by Hannah Whitall Smith dealt with this directly:

Some say that the emotions are the governing power in our nature, but I think we all know from experience that there is within us, behind our emotions and behind our wishes, an independent self that decides everything and controls everything. Our emotions belong to us and are suffered and enjoyed by us, but they are not ourselves. If God is to take possession of us, it must be into this central will or personality that He enters. If, then, He is reigning there by the power of His Spirit, all the rest of our nature must come under His sway."

That's pretty powerful stuff. I know that I want to give God that control in my life, so that the rest of who I am is a reflection of Him.

Just wanted to say...

It sure is a beautiful day and God is good.

This week has been extremely busy. I've wanted to leave town on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, I won't be able to do any such thing until April is over. I hope I can hang in there!

This recent rush of "busy-ness" has caused me to wonder if there is something or some things I need to weed out of my life. The problem is, I'm not necessarily involved in a lot of things, it's just that what I am involved in takes up a lot of my time. Perhaps I just need to get better at allocating my time to my commitments. Sometimes I just don't know when to quit. :)

So, those are my thoughts at this minute. Time to get ready for church. :)

Back in business!

And this time with no drama!!!

I've been so busy since last week, I haven't written anything down to post. I really haven't even had time to put two thoughts together! I'm about ready to check out for a while and just go somewhere I can sit and do nothing. Too bad I can't take any vacation days right now - this is one of our busy months (April) and it is hard for me to take off from work.

Anyway, just wanted to post something. There are always thoughts going through my mind, so I need to be still for a moment to write them down. Until then, have a good day/evening/night....whatever the case may be!

TGIF

I'm so glad it's Friday. I was joking with my boss that I'm going to change my work week to four, ten-hour days so I can be sure to get rested on the weekend. I don't know why I'm so tired!

Just checked on my computer to find out about how long it will take to get it back. Estimates are I should have it by the end of next week. Woohoo! I miss my computer already. I'll have to remember to treat it kindly and give it praise from time to time. I don't want to take it for granted ever again. So easily we expect those things (or even people) that make our lives run smoothly to always be there. I may have a party for my computer when it comes home.

I hope you know I'm joking.

Anyway, I realized about a week ago that I missed the one-year anniversary of the birth of this blog. March 11, 2003 is the day I took a step of faith (thinking that maybe someone would be interested in reading my thoughts) and began my adventure in the blogosphere. It has definitely been fun! I've met some very interesting people and my life is definitely better for having met them. In addition to that, I've learned how to voice those thoughts that for far too long just roamed aimlessly in my mind. This blog has been a bit of therapy for me and I'm grateful.

To all of you who read my stuff - Thank You!!!! I am always humbled when someone tells me my thoughts have impacted their life in some way. That is truly an amazing thing.

So I just wanted to post something before the weekend. I have no idea when I'll get another opportunity to post something. This may be a good time for me to get into the habit of writing my thoughts on paper anyway.

Have a great weekend!

Deja vu!

It has happened again!

Alas, I am once again computer-less. :( It seems that when Apple repaired my computer in November, they may have replaced the bad logic board with another one from the same lot. Last night, as I was working on the previous post, my computer froze up, the screen started going haywire and before long, I was trying to start up my computer again. The computer worked, but there was no monitor. I had to turn around and write my post in long-hand (and then re-type it this morning). I hate when that happens, because I don't feel like what I end up re-writing is as good as the first time I wrote it!

Anyway, I took it to the repair shop and they are sending it out to be worked on. Hopefully, I won't have to wait 3 weeks to get it back! The good news is this - it is still under warranty! I haven't had the thing a year yet! The other good news is, even if I had been out of warranty, they still would repair it at no cost. This problem with the logic board was a manufacturing defect or something. Evidently, there have been a lot of iBooks crash with this problem.

So, posts from me may be sparse over the next week or so. We're right in the middle of our busy season here in the office, which will make posting during business hours very difficult. ;)

I forgot to mention...

Sunday was awesome! Four people gave their lives to Christ at the close of the service. I am so excited! God is moving in incredible ways in the lives of people I know. It is interesting to watch!

Another thing I wanted to share was I have picked up a new daily devotional. Actually, the book itself is not new, just new to me. It is a collection of writings by Hannah Whitall Smith entitled God is Enough. Her writings are very thought provoking. I've also added to my daily reading, Oswald Chambers' My Utmost For His Highest. I have a copy of his original book, which was written in 1935, so sometimes it is difficult to understand. The language of that day is quite different than today! Fortunately, I found an online version written in modern language. Oswald Chambers' writings are also very thought provoking and usually very timely.

Like yesterday.

Now, I am what you might call a "fixer". I'll try to solve any problem you send me. If someone is dealing with a problem, I'll be more than glad to try and "help". Sometimes, ok - a lot of times, this gets me into trouble, but I can't help it! God made me this way! However, I am learning to not jump into the middle of other people's problems or to even try and solve my problems on my own. I'm not always successful, but I am getting better. As Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under Heaven." I'm learning that more each day!

The other side of this coin is that sometimes, I just wish there was someone to do that for me. Someone who will step in and try to solve all of my problems. Of course, Jesus is the most obvious candidate for this position. Unfortunately, I don't always go to Him like I should. I believe that is why He has not opened the door for me to be in a dating relationship with anyone. I've got to be able to look to Him as the answer to my every situation - not another person. Like I said, I think I am getting better at going to Jesus for my every need.

So here's a portion of what yesterday's (3/24/04) devotional had to say:

If you become a necessity to someone else's life, you are out of God's will. As a servant, your primary responsibility is to be a "friend of the bridegroom" ( John 3:29 ). When you see a person who is close to grasping the claims of Jesus Christ, you know that your influence has been used in the right direction. And when you begin to see that person in the middle of a difficult and painful struggle, don't try to prevent it, but pray that his difficulty will grow even ten times stronger, until no power on earth or in hell could hold him away from Jesus Christ. Over and over again, we try to be amateur providences in someone's life. We are indeed amateurs, coming in and actually preventing God's will and saying, "This person should not have to experience this difficulty." Instead of being friends of the Bridegroom, our sympathy gets in the way. One day that person will say to us, "You are a thief; you stole my desire to follow Jesus, and because of you I lost sight of Him."

Here's what I felt God was saying to me through that devotional: First of all, I am not anyone's "savior" - including myself. Of the four people who gave their lives to Christ on Sunday, I felt God leading me to be purposeful in building relationships with two of them (they are women close in age to me). I feel strongly that as believers, we have a responsibility to disciple and encourage new believers in the Faith. I've seen too many people fall by the wayside because they were left "on their own" to figure out how to walk with Christ. So, since Sunday, I've been thinking of ways to be a mentor to these two women and encourage them in their walk with Christ. This devotional firmly reminded me to stay out of the way - so to speak. I can't fix the problems in their lives or shelter them from things to come, and I don't need to. My responsibility is to always point them to Christ and walk alongside them through whatever comes. I would hate for them to one day say to me that I was a "thief" and that "because of you, I lost sight of Him."

The other thing I was reminded of is that in my own life, I need to look to Christ as my source. I shouldn't put someone in His place and allow them to become as Oswald Chambers says, a "necessity" to me. I don't want to lose sight of Christ because my focus was on someone else. It all boils down to the fact that I shouldn't allow myself or anyone else to be a "necessity". Christ alone is all I need. He is all anyone needs. As the scripture referenced by Chambers in this devotional appropriately states, "He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30.

God's timing is always perfect. I'm amazed at how He does provide what I need, even when I don't know I need it! He is so faithful and it truly is getting easier to trust Him and look to Him for my every need.

Good Intentions

This is turning into a (for lack of a better word)...interesting week. I've just been in a funk. My goal was to stay home each night - which I've done - and work on getting some music together for our worship team. However, I haven't gotten to that yet.

Last night, I came home, took my dog walking, came home and washed the dog, cleaned the house a bit, watched a little tv (and I do mean a little), cooked something my roommate had left out, paid bills and finally got to bed around 1 am. I was so tired today, I didn't even read my devotional this morning. Still haven't. Had a weird dream, too. In the dream, for some reason, my family and I were hosting a party for some celebrity, but whoever it was didn't want a big throwdown. So if certain people showed up to the house, it meant the word was out and therefore the party would be cancelled. Well, Dennis Quaid shows up drunk and the party gets cancelled....all I remember after that was trying to put him in the bed so he could sleep off his drunkenness. Isn't that a crazy dream? I have no idea where it came from!

Anyway, as you can tell, tonight I'm not working too hard on the music. Took the dog walking again and then came home and cut her hair. What a mess that was! I'm struggling with the desire to work on another project I've been putting off for a while: cataloging all of my books and cd's. When I do that, I can re-organize my bookshelves. They are an absolute mess....you should see them.

So I sit here, trying to get my thoughts in order, and shift gears to focus on the music. I always resist doing what I know I should do. I'm sure no one else has that problem. :)

I know, I'll go get something to eat first and then begin on the music. Oh yeah...sounds like a plan.

Home at last!

I am finally home to sleep in my own bed! Hallelujah!!! For the past 3 nights, I've been house/dog-sitting for my friend who went out of town. When we made the arrangements for me to do this, I did not expect to have the kind of weekend that I had.

First of all, a beloved member of our church passed away and his funeral was on Saturday. Our worship team was asked to sing at the funeral, so I had to get up early Saturday morning, come home to get ready and then go to the funeral. Saturday night I had a babysitting job. It was just an incredibly busy weekend.

I was already a little stressed. Of course it's my own fault.

After talking with my pastor and the worship team director (who also happens to be the pastor's wife!), we came to the realization that our music has been in a rut. We're in the process of working in some new material, and I volunteered to try and pick out some new stuff. We're looking to add more up-tempo music to our repertoire.

My problem is I am too much of a "perfectionist" at times. Everything has to be just right...or so I think. Sometimes I get too bogged down in getting everything "together" when I should just jump in and figure it out as I go. I think I may have to do that here. One thing that is stressing me out is the realization that I don't know many up-tempo, lively songs that would be appropriate for congregational singing. This means I'm going to have to do some work.

After talking with the pastor and his wife last week, I realized God is wanting to stretch me in my walk of faith again. When it comes to music and worshipping Him, I've gotten lazy. I've been maintaining the "status quo" and it's time to move to another level. The whole idea scares me. Mainly because I don't know how to go to the next level, but also because I don't know what that will mean for me and my life. What does going to the next level look like? What is He going to require of me? I guess that's where I need to kick my faith into high gear and continuously seek God for direction. Another area of my life that He is working on. :)

Oh well, we will see what happens. I want to be faithful in this area of my life because not only will it impact my life, but it will impact a whole congregation of believers. Yikes!

So anyway, that is another reason I'll be staying home this week. I need some time to focus and get into some new music. Needless to say, it should prove to be an interesting week. We'll see which part of me wins out...the part that wants to please God and do His will or the part of me that just wants to do nothing. Pray for me!

God's Earth

I read a post over at Benjamin's blog that sparked a response from me. It was too long to try and write in his comment section. :)

In his post, Benjamin writes: "...man has a responsibility not to slash and burn the planet."

Just tonight we discussed this very thing in Bible study at church. What, exactly, is our responsibility to God's earth? Based on our discussion and my understanding of scripture, here are my thoughts on the subject:

In Genesis 1:28, God commands man "to be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it." The original Hebrew word there for "subdue", kavash, means: "to dominate or bring into bondage". Basically, God commanded us to control this earth to use it as we will, not simply be "good stewards" of the earth. True that "the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof", but here, He clearly gave us control of it. God doesn't directly address the earth or the things on it (plants and animals, etc). He works through us to affect and impact His other creations. I do agree that we should, in some respects, be good stewards, but simply because if we don't take care of this world, nothing will be left.

An example my pastor gave about the control God has given us over the earth goes like this: there are two types of control that can be given to someone. For this example, say I'm giving you a piece of land. The first type of control I can give you is that I appoint you to take care of the land. You can do whatever you want with it, but I'll be coming back for a full account of your actions. You will be accountable to me for what you've done with it while it was under your control.

The other type of control is that I flat out give you the land. It's yours, you do with it what you will. I won't be checking up on you. If you destroy it, that's your decision. If you use it to bring forth crops or build something on it - kudos to you.

The second type of control represents what God said in Genesis 1:28. He created the earth for our benefit. Everything in it is subject to us. Several examples of how we have subdued the earth are: air-conditioning, buildings, roads, dams, levees, genetically altered crops that produce more on less land, clothing created from natural resources (i.e., cotton, silk, etc.), electricity (which is created in some areas by harnessing the power of running water), natural gas to heat our buildings...you get the picture. The problem is, current special-interest groups and environmentalists have convinced us that we need to be subjected or controlled by the earth. We should leave the earth in its "pristine" condition. If they had their way, we would all live in the wild, unable to use the natural resources God gave to us. Just think of all the legislation that restricts our actions in regards to natural resources. God never intended that.

When it is all said and done, He is not going to ask for an account of what we did with the earth. In fact, the book of Revelation, in the Bible, tells us this earth will be destroyed and a new one will be created. (Revelation 21:1) Through lies and deceit, Satan is once again robbing us of something God has given to us.

Benjamin also commented that: "The primary motivation that fuels human exploitation of the earth's natural resources is not disregard for the planet, or a sort of cavalier ‘we can do whatever we want’ ecological myopia, it is rather the thirst for wealth, the love of money which is the root of all evil."

As to the argument about the love of money leading to destruction of the earth...the simple fact remains that if people are driven by money to use natural resources, it's not in their best interest to destroy the very thing that makes them money. It is a fallacy that these "money lovers" are destroying the land. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule.

For example, did you know that in America, there is about the same amount of forest cover today as there was 100 years ago, even though we consume more wood per capita than any other region in the world? (Source: LA Times, Tues. March 26, 2002, By-line: Patrick Moore, co-founder of Greenpeace) In this article some other environmental myths are debunked by the late, Dr. Julian Simon. An interesting read.

Anyway, just wanted to post some thoughts on the subject, but don't take my word for it. You should always find the facts for yourself. Don't simply accept one person's word as truth. There are a lot of people spreading un-scientific pabulum as fact, simply because they are trying to get money for their program or research facility. Follow the money.

If you'd like to know where I found my information, let me know!

Wish I had a few more days

Yes, I'm back, but not quite ready to get back to the usual grind. :)

My visit to Southern Illinois was quite interesting. I accused my roommate of driving me around for 6 1/2 hours and taking me to a small town somewhere in the south. Those folks were more "southern" and "country" than I am!!! It was wild. In more ways than one. Suffice it to say, I'm glad to be home. :)

I've got some thoughts floating around in my mind, but haven't had the time to pull them into a cogent post.

One thought I will leave with you - if we do not keep ourselves focused on Jesus, we won't be able to resist temptation. I've learned of some things this week that have just reinforced that fact in my mind. I believe God is just reminding me that I need to trust Him for my every need. I can't do that unless I look to Him for everything. I need to go to Him first for every decision I make - including those small decisions (like whether or not I should buy another book or cd). I believe that when I learn to trust Him with the small stuff, the big stuff will be easy. I haven't mastered this, but I'm learning.

A struggle

I should have known it would come. My attitude, emotions and all that stuff have been on a "high" since seeing "The Passion of The Christ". I have been renewed and re-focused and I'm extremely glad....I've been learning so much about Christ.

But...

Yesterday, living in the real world struck home. For some time now, I've truly been content as a single person. My heart's desire is to know Christ and that's what I've been working on. I believe that's what God has been leading me to do - to know Christ as I've never known Him before - so that when I do meet "the one" I'll already be depending on Christ for all of my needs and not put that burden on my husband. So, I've been content to not be dating anyone.

But yesterday, I was almost to the point of being depressed because I'm not dating anyone. There were several things I experienced yesterday that started me thinking along those lines, so I know why I ended up being near-depressed.

In the past, when I would start down this slippery slope, I'd allow myself to dwell on the thoughts and start feeling sorry for myself. Then to "escape", I would go find a romance novel to read. Silly, isn't it? But not now. Yesterday, I was about to start the self-pity thing when I realized I didn't have to do that. I asked Jesus to meet that need in me right now. I believe He has given me the desire to one day be married. It's just not His plan for me right now. And I know that.

I wish I could say that I was "over" the feelings and emotions I was dealing with right away. This morning I'm still having to give that over to Christ. But isn't that the way it works with anything we have to overcome to be in Christ's will? I am overwhelmed by His love and I know it will all work out. I'm just having to do that "die daily" thing, which is hard. I believe He's trying to take me to a deeper level in my walk, so this is just some of the adjustment of being in a new place. Much like an airplane experiences turbulence when changing altitudes. I'm looking forward to where He's leading me.

Back home for a while

Well, I'm back....but just for a while. :)

Got home Tuesday afternoon and have been running ever since! Yesterday was so busy. I'm always amazed at how much stuff doesn't get done when I'm out of the office for a couple of days. What's crazy is this - all of our staff was together, so it's not like they were in the office generating work for me.

So....today I'll be catching up and trying to get a little ahead. I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon to go "home" with my roommate. She's from Illinois and we're going to visit her family for a few days. This will definitely be an interesting experience....southern girl goes to southern Illinois. :) We'll be back on Monday.

It's a beautiful day!

God is good! All the time!
All the time! God is good!

Can you tell I'm excited about my Jesus? :)

We had a beautiful day yesterday for our poker run. There were only 20 participants, but we made some new connections and met many new people. It was awesome! I wish I already had a motorcycle. *sigh*

Anyway, we had a fabulous time in church this morning. It's the first Sunday of the month, so we had Fellowship Dinner right after service and it was good! I must say, I'm a part of an incredible body of believers. I wish everyone could experience what we have. It truly is a God thing! Only He could have brought such a mix of people together in once place. I am always excited to be around my extended "family".

I'm leaving this afternoon to go to Tuscaloosa, AL for a regional staff meeting. Unfortunately, the hotel we'll be in doesn't have internet access (what's wrong with this world!) so I probably won't be back on until Tuesday. God is probably wanting me to be off this thing for a while anyway. :) I'm looking forward to being with our other staff. We always have a blast when we get together, but anytime you get people together who love Jesus, it's a good thing. I know I'll be blessed....well, I already am blessed!

One other thing before I'm outta here: this Thursday will be my One-Year Blogiversary. I'm so excited about that! I've met some really nice people through having a blog and to all of you who read my posts - "THANK YOU!!!!!" I'm trying to think of something special to post of that day. We'll see....it's going to be a busy week.

I can't believe I'm still up

Here it is 2am again, and I am awake. Something must be wrong with me.

Actually, I got involved with downloading some music and time just went by swiftly. Plus, I've been washing clothes and my dog. :) I'm insane, though. Our Motorcycle Ministry is hosting a "Poker Run" tomorrow. It is a fundraiser. I'm excited, since this is our first big event. Here's a brief run-down on a poker run:

Any biker is welcome to participate. They start at a designated location and register, pay their entry fee (which is $10) and get the form they need to record their "hand". There are a total of five stops at various places around the city. At each stop, members of our group will be there with a bag containing a deck of cards. Each biker selects a card from the bag. We then record which card the pulled and then they move on to the next stop. At the last stop, everyone's "hand" will be compared and the person with the best "hand" will win. The rules for winning are based on 5-card stud poker with no wild cards. Whoever wins, gets 1/2 of the total money collected for the event. I'm not sure if we have a 2nd or 3rd place....if so, the 1/2 of the "Winner's Take" gets divided among the top three. (It's 2 am, so I'm not real clear on details right now.)

Now, some of you may be shocked that a ministry is hosting a "Poker Run". I think it's a fabulous idea! How else will we be able to reach out to those who don't know Christ? There are men (and women) who are hard-core bikers that will participate in this type of an event. The whole point is it's fun, they get to ride and possibly win some cash. On our side of the coin, there is a tremendous opportunity to begin the process of building relationships with people who need to know Christ. Who wouldn't want to participate?

I'll be sure to update you on what happens. :)

More thoughts on Jesus

I did it again. I went to see "The Passion of The Christ" again tonight. Whew. I'm telling you, God is going to do something among His people through that movie. I just believe it.

This time as I watched it, I was able to think more about the film and about Jesus and what His sacrifice really means. The first time you see the film, you are so overwhelmed with what's taking place, you can't really think about it. It is really an emotionally taxing experience the first time around. However, I think that is a good thing. It certainly helped to ignite a new passion in me.

Anyway, on to tonight....as I was watching the movie, I was again overwhelmed with the question of "Why?" Why would the God of all creation bother? What is it about us that caused Him to willingly send His Son to suffer so that we might live in eternity with Him - in spite of the fact that we have rejected Him and will continue to fail Him? I must admit, I still can't get my mind around that. If it were me, I wouldn't have created Adam and Eve in the first place! (Aren't you glad I'm not God?)

As I was (and still am) pondering this, I realized that I don't have a clue what love is. God's love is what motivated Him to offer Jesus as a sacrifice for our sins. That kind of love certainly doesn't fit into my understanding of what love is. To me, I guess it has always been about the "good feeling" - whether it's a good feeling about that special someone or around family and friends. But God's love isn't about a feeling. It's about a choice.

I'm sure as Christ was being beaten, spit upon, mocked, insulted, humiliated and tortured, He didn't "feel" like being there. At any time, He could have gotten up from that whipping post or come down off the cross and said "forget it!!" But He didn't. As Max Lucado writes, "Jesus himself chose the nails." Revelation 13:8 tells us that Jesus is "the Lamb who was killed before the world was made." Before He spoke creation into existence, He knew He would have to die to redeem it. How many of us could make that kind of choice? As I said, I still can't get my mind around it.

It does make me want to give my everything to Him. It's the least I can do. And not to try and repay Him, for I could never do that. I want to give Him my everything simply to worship Him and thank Him for what He did.

As I was driving home, I called a good friend of mine to talk about the movie and Jesus' sacrifice. We got to comparing notes about our lives over the past couple of weeks, and for both of us, it seems like everything we've read or listened to is pointing to Christ. I've talked with other people about this as well and the same is true for them. As a Christian, this should have been my focus all along, I know, but over the past week or so, there seems to be an extra emphasis on Jesus. In fact, over the past 6-8 months, God has been telling me to "know" Jesus. I just haven't done it. So anyway, as I'm talking with my friend, this thought flashes through my mind: "what if God is focusing our attention on Christ and His suffering because of what is in the near future for us as believers." I'll be honest - that thought scared me half to death.

After seeing this movie for the first time, my heart screamed that I could, and would, face anything knowing that Christ had suffered like that for me. Well, after some time to reflect, I've wondered if, when the really hard times come, will I be able to face them and not turn my back on Christ? Will I endure to the end? This is where it will be my choice to love Him. When it comes down to it, I will have to make a choice to either follow Him and possibly be sacrificed or follow my own way and not suffer. Jesus says in John 12:25 that "those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who despise their life in this world will keep it for eternal life." Oh, that I will trust in His promises when suffering comes my way.

So those are the thoughts on my mind as I try to go to sleep tonight. I have never examined my life and commitment to Christ like I have over the past week. It is a sobering experience.

My heart is ever more longing for the time when I am in the throne room of heaven - in the presence of my Savior, Redeemer and Friend - singing "blessing and honor and glory and power belong to the One sitting on the throne and to the Lamb forever and ever."

The Basin and The Towel

Since I saw "The Passion" last week, I've had several thought mulling around in my mind. One of them is the idea of what it means to be a servant.

We see in the Gospel of John, Jesus' example of a servant as he takes time to wash the feet of His disciples. After washing their feet, Jesus tells them that "if I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I gave you an example that you should do as I did to you." (John 13:14-15)

Now, I'm not wanting to get into a discussion of the "legalities" of feet washing. I'm just trying to figure out what it means to be a servant. One thing that struck me the most in this passage was not the fact that Jesus performed the act of a slave by washing His disciples feet, but that He did it in the face of horrendous suffering. Stay with me here.

Jesus knew His hour had come. He knew that his struggle in Gethsemane was just around the corner and after that was coming unimaginable physical, and perhaps, emotional pain. It was a terrifying situation, I'm sure. But in verses 3-5 of chapter 13, John says that "Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God, got up from supper, and laid aside His garments and taking a towel, He girded Himself. Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded."

To quote my favorite pastor, "3 things stood out to me in this passage." Sorry, no alliteration. :)

First of all, Jesus was a servant in spite of His circumstances. If anyone had a reason to not be around people or to run away, it was Jesus. He was about to endure torture and humiliation to redeem us to Himself. I'm blown away by the fact that God chose to create us knowing that we would sin and that even after providing a way of redemption for us that we would reject His Son. My biggest question for God is Why? But that's a topic for another day! Back to my point - Jesus had a long road ahead of Him, yet He still gave of Himself to His disciples and showed them how He wanted them to serve others. I think the key here is what verse 3 says (I'll give you a sec to go back and read it!) Jesus knew it was in God's hands.

How many times do we miss an opportunity to serve others because it is inconvenient or doesn't fit into our schedule? How often am I so wrapped up in my circumstances that I miss opportunities to serve? Ouch!

Secondly, Jesus had to get wet. The scriptures tell us that Jesus got up from His supper and took off His garments. I'm guessing that means he took off his outer clothes and was basically in his t-shirt and shorts. He was going to have to be able to get on the floor and get to the disciples feet so he could wash and dry them. I don't know if any of you have ever participated in a "feet washing" service, but if you have, you know there's a good possibility you're going to get wet. Same thing happens when we serve others. We get involved in their lives. Our hands get "dirty". There will always be some cost to us when we "take up the basin and the towel."

Last but not least - Jesus took His time with each disciple while washing their feet. Not only did Jesus wash their feet, He took the time to wipe them dry. He could have had them all line up in a row and pour water over their feet as they stood there, and then tossed them a towel with a "here ya go, fellas!" But no.....He went to each person individually and washed and dried their feet. What does this mean for us? Serving others takes time and our attention. Jesus could have hurried through washing their feet. After all, He was about to die on the cross. But He personally ministered to each disciple - including Judas. Now that's something to think about - Jesus was a servant to the very man who would betray Him. Hmmm.

Anyway, those were some things I gathered from Christ's example of being a servant. I hope it makes sense (seeing as how it is almost 2 am.) I plan on doing some more studying on being a servant and I'll be sure to share what I learn.

Below are the lyrics to a song by Michael Card titled, The Basin and The Towel.

And the call is to community

In an upstairs room
A parable is just about to come alive
And while they bicker about who's best
With a painful glance He'll silently rise
Their Savior Servant must show them how
Through the will of the water
And the tenderness of the towel

CHORUS
And the call is to community
The impoverished power that sets the soul free
In humility to take the vow
That day after day we must take up
The basin and the towel

In any ordinary place
On any ordinary day
The parable can live again
When one will kneel and one will yield
Our Savior Servant must show us how
Through the will of the water
And the tenderness of the towel

And the space between ourselves sometimes
Is more than the distance between the stars
By the fragile bridge of the servant's bow
We take up the basin and the towel

(c)1994 Birdwing Music (a div. of the Sparrow Corporation) (ASCAP)
From Poiema by Michael Card

What a whirlwind!

Well, this past weekend was interesting.

Friday afternoon about 2pm, I received a call from my mother. My brother was being taken from his job, via ambulance, to the hospital. He was presenting all the classic symptoms of a heart attack. Mind you, my brother will be 29 in April. So I left work, went and picked up my sister-in-law and went with her to the hospital.

I won't bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say, he is fine. They kept him overnight for observation, (and his wife stayed with him, also) so I got the privilege of staying with their four kids. We had a good time. They all call me "Kiki" and get so excited when they can spend the night with me or I with them. Of course, the last time I spent the night at their house was when child #4 was being born last September. I love those kids.

Needless to say, the weekend was a little stressful. Something like that makes you look at how quickly our lives here on earth can be over. *sigh* Just another "thought" to add to the "thoughts" still going through my mind since seeing "The Passion of The Christ." Perhaps, more on that later.....I'll be seeing it again later this week.

On a lighter note, as you may or may not know, Leap Year "Day" (Feb. 29) is also considered "Sadie Hawkins Day". Ladies, that is our opportunity to snag that "man of our dreams" and ask him to marry us - or simply go out on a date! So, at church that morning, a group of us adults were talking about it and cracking jokes. Of course, I feigned dismay at not realizing what day it was and lamented missing my "opportunity". Unbeknownst to me, my 5 year old niece was listening to this exchange.

Later that day at my parent's house, she comes up to me and says, "Kiki, Kiki....I need to tell you something." So, I bent down to let her talk in my ear, and here is what she says...

"Kiki, did you find a boy to marry yet?"

Folks, I about died laughing. My poor niece got embarrassed, but I couldn't help it. I was laughing so hard and everybody asked what she said, so I told them. I just thought it was so cute! Unfortunately, I had to tell her I hadn't, but my mom, trying to encourage my niece, told her she could pray for God to bring me a husband. Isn't that sweet?!?!

Every now and then, she'll come up to me and ask me when I'm getting married. What she really wants to know is when am I going to have a baby! That question is what has precipitated her interest in me finding a husband! *sigh* Kids - gotta love 'em!

One other thing - I just finished the most fantastic book! A Violent Grace by Michael Card, is one of the best books I've read in a while. Admittedly, it could be because my heart has been dwelling on Christ's sacrifice, but Michael Card's writing is so beautiful and thought provoking. He is an excellent theologian and writer. If you get a chance, pick up this book. In my opinion, it is a great read alongside viewing "The Passion of The Christ." Now I'm reading Max Lucado's book, He Chose the Nails. Good stuff! All about my Jesus! :)

Later!

Just for fun

Found this via Chad's blog. I should get out more!



create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

Bits and pieces

Just wanted to post a few thoughts about a few things.

I didn't get the job at Old Navy. In fact, they never called me for a second interview. I'm sure it is a God thing. Fortunately, I have some other opportunities opening up: babysitting jobs (although a little thin right now) always seem to come up at the right time and now I'm embarking on computer tutoring. I have one couple that have me on retainer, so to speak. :) The husband upgraded his iMac and bought his wife an iBook, so I'll be helping him learn shortcuts and tricks with his software and her to learn how to get around on the internet and check her email. This could lead to other jobs as they attend a really large church and are among a circle of people who would own computers and need some home tutoring. I'm excited! God always makes a way. He is truly awesome!

Speaking of babysitting, I had a job tonight that turned bad. The mother of this little girl we (my roommates and I) keep regularly called this afternoon to see if I could keep her. I told her no problem, I was going to my brother's to help with some computer stuff but that it was ok for her girl to go with me. (My brother has 3 kids her age, so I knew they would play.) Anyway, the mother was supposed to come at 9pm to get her daughter. At around 10pm, I called the number she had given me earlier (which turned out to be a wrong number). At 11pm, I called this woman's boyfriend (who lives with her). Unfortunately, he was at work but said he would either find the woman or come and get the child himself. Well, at midnight, the mother screeches into the driveway. She was probably 10 sheets to the wind. I could smell her when I opened the door.

So, she comes in and begins to ask me why I called her boyfriend. So I told her - she was supposed to be there at 9pm, it was now midnight and I had to work in the morning. She was all bowed up, like she was mad (probably because her butt got chewed by her boyfriend) and told me she would not be calling us again. "Y'all are just.....something," she says. Anyway, she goes to pick her daughter up and I tried to grab her, telling her I didn't think it was a good idea for her to be driving. She told me not to tell her what to do, and I didn't put up a fight. I now wish I had. I could have punched that woman! How can people be so careless!!!! I know the answer to that.....she needs Jesus. I would have loved to "lay hands" on that woman. As I said, I wish I had put up a fight, but what do you do? Who wants to be a troublemaker and divide a family? Knowing what I do about this family, they are already screwed up and they really do need Jesus. I keep thinking that maybe we can impact their lives in some way. Who knows?

I called her house to see if they had made it home safely. I guess I didn't allow enough time, because she didn't answer. That, or she just wasn't answering the phone. I do care about these people. After I got over being really mad and worried, I pondered what Jesus thought when He reached out to people in need. I'm not Him, but I sure want to be like Him. Maybe kindness will keep the door open to ministering to this family. Only God really knows.

So that's what was on my mind at the moment. Still lots of thinking going on about "The Passion of The Christ". I was talking to a friend tonight who saw it twice yesterday!!! It was neat to talk with him about the movie. We both came away with similar thoughts about it. I want to go see it again, to see if there was anything I missed. As I mentioned in my post yesterday, that is the most thought provoking film I've ever seen. I like those kinds of movies.

I'm off to bed. One more day in this work week and we'll be able to file it in the "history" box. :) Later!

How can I say this...

It has been just over three hours since I saw "The Passion of The Christ" and I am still trying to process what I saw. The only word I can think of to describe it is "powerful."

It didn't affect me the way I thought it would. I thought I would be more emotional....crying at the drop of a hat and that sort of thing. But I'm not. I mean, I do get teary eyed when I think of Christ's suffering, but more than that, I am deeply reflective. It's a rather strange feeling.

Although the images of His torture, as depicted in this movie, will forever be with me, it is the quiet flashbacks of His life that had the most impact on me. Through the marriage of the horrific scenes of Him being beaten and the calm, quiet flashback scenes that show where He connected with people personally, Mel Gibson has created the most thought provoking film I can ever remember seeing. It's almost hard to put into words all the thoughts and emotions that are swirling around in me.

The one thing I wasn't expecting to take away from this movie is a new realization of Christ's human-ness. He was one of us AND at the same time He was God. I never have really understood that, I guess.

***MOVIE DETAILS***DON'T READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF!***

Here is an example: in the movie, we see Jesus has been beaten by the temple guards as He's being dragged before the Sanhedrin. As He is waiting for them to assemble, he focuses in on a carpenter who is working on something in the courtyard. We then are taken back to a point in Jesus' life where He is working as a carpenter, evidently before His earthly ministry began. He is building a table and you hear his mother call him. "Yashua.....Yashua" (Jesus - or more correctly Joshua, in Aramaic) She comes out to where He is working and we see Him crouched down, examining His handiwork. She asks Him if He is hungry and He says "yes". As they begin to walk back into the house, she tells him to take of His dirty apron and wash his hands, so He dips His hands in the water, splashes her and then kisses her on the head before running into the house. We are then taken back to the trial scene.

There is a bit more to that scene, so I didn't tell all of it, but I wanted to share that little bit. It showed a totally human Jesus, who loved people. There's an old song that says "when He was on the cross, we were on His mind." I'm sure throughout the entire ordeal, He was thinking of those He loved in His circle of family and friends, and perhaps those of us who were yet to be born. I think this scene really embodied that aspect of who Christ is. As I said before, it was a really thought-provoking film.

***END OF MOVIE DETAILS***

In addition to a new realization of Christ as God in the flesh, I came away with a new sense of just how bad our sin is. You know, in this day and age, we tend to sanitize our sin. Especially our "pet" sins - those things we know are wrong but haven't quite given up. We don't see them as totally bad. Oh, we're quick to speak of the evils of homosexuality, drinking, drug abuse or any other sin we categorize as "bad", but those sins are no worse than the times I gossip or am dishonest or think about things I shouldn't. Those sins that no one knows about are just as evil as the "bad" sins and they all are costly. The price of sin was high - blood had to be shed - and we could never pay that price. The sacrifice had to be perfect and Christ was the only One who qualified.

Christ endured unimaginable pain and suffering, and worse than that, He was separated from His Father so that I wouldn't have to pay the price for sin. I tell you, I don't know that I'll look at sin the same way. At least I hope I won't.

I want to give my everything to the One who gave His everything for me. It's not about earning my salvation. I don't have to do that. It is a free gift because of Christ's sacrifice. I want to be like the woman who washed the feet of Jesus with her tears and dried them with her hair. I have been forgiven much and want to show Him my love by knowing Him and serving Him with my life.

As I left the movie, there was a struggle within my emotions - a part of me wanted to really be sad. Sad and sorrowful for all of the suffering Christ chose to endure for me. Yet, at the same time, I felt so blessed and so totally and completely loved. Joyousness isn't the word to express the emotion, but a deep, deep sense of peace and awe. Like I said, it's hard to express just what I'm feeling even now.

All I know is this: everyone should see this movie. One cannot help but be impacted in some way. Mel Gibson and his cast and crew have created a masterpiece and I do truly believe he was inspired by God to create this film. I can't wait to see what happens in the lives of millions as a result of this movie. Only time will tell. I just know that I am not the same and I think I will be bolder in sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ.

Better luck next time

Ok, so I didn't go see the movie tonight. There were more bodies than seats, so I gave my seat up.

I won't lie....I'm upset. I had geared myself to see this movie and now I'm just really disappointed. Whatever...I'll work through it and get over it. :)

Here's something to think about, though - my roommate had come and was helping me make sure the reserved seats went to the right people, so we had commandeered two seats for ourselves. As the crowd kept growing and seats began to run out, there was this Indian couple (from East India) that had come to see the film. Without a second thought, I gave them our seats.

Perhaps those two people needed to see that film tonight.

You see, after the film, there will be an opportunity for people to give their lives to Christ. If those people don't know Christ but have been wondering about Him, maybe seeing this film will impact their lives and lead them to the foot of the cross. I certainly hope so.

Nevertheless, I will eventually see the film. I may try to see if I can leave work early tomorrow or just wait for a time when my roommate and I can go see it. I'll just have to wait and see. But, when I do, you can be sure I'll write about it!

The Passion of the Christ

Well, folks, I'm about to go and see this film. I must say, I'm nervous. There is that part of me that wants to know what Christ went through for me, but on the other hand, I don't want to know.

I feel like this is going to be one of those times in my life I'll look back on and recognize as a "mile-marker" in my walk of faith. There will be a reckoning for what I know. How will I be able to walk away from this visual interpretation (one, I believe, that will be the most accurate we could ever see without ever having been there in person) of Christ's Passion and not be changed? That, perhaps, is what scares me the most.

Each time I want to do things my own way, will I see, in my mind's eye, a vision of Christ being beaten for me? I hope so. I want to always keep Him first in my heart and mind. As I said in my post yesterday, I never want to treat Christ's sacrifice carelessly again.

If I am able, I will post something later on about the film. Pray for us - FCA is hosting a preview of the film for a lot of high school and college athletes. Satan has already tried to create havoc, so I know miraculous things will take place as a result of this film. Pray for those people who will give their lives to the One who gave His life for them.

More, later....

Jesus

With all of the hype centered around The Passion of the Christ, I've been thinking about Jesus a lot lately. I'll be honest, I think about Jesus all the time, however, those thoughts are usually centered around what I need from Him (those "911" prayers) or short moments of praise when I feel guilty about not having spent more time with Him.

But here lately, I've realized I don't really KNOW Him as friends should know one another. He's been like a really good acquaintance that I see often and know generally what His character is like and know that He is dependable and trustworthy and a really good guy.....but I haven't known Him like I want to know Him now.

I've been reading a book by Michael Card titled "Violent Grace". It's about Jesus and what He suffered for us. One of the things he writes about is that Christ was betrayed so I might know His faithfulness. He compares Judas and Peter and their response to Grace. They both were close friends of Jesus. They lived with Him and knew everything about Him, yet they both made different choices. Both men denied Christ, albeit in different fashions, but it was their next choice that made all the difference in the world. Judas failed Christ, but had he recognized the Grace that was offered to him and chosen to seek forgiveness, the ending to his story would be totally different. Peter, on the other hand, denied Christ three times yet he was one of the first to rush to Christ's tomb on Easter morning. He received Grace and continued to live his live to please Christ.

Last night, I was reading Luke 22:54-62 - one of the passages that tells the story of Peter's denial of Christ. In verses 61-62 it says, "At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered that the Lord had said, 'Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny me three times.' And Peter left the courtyard, crying bitterly." As I read that and was reflecting on what Michael Card had written and I was trying to imagine what Peter was thinking at that moment, I was suddenly there myself, looking across the courtyard into the eyes of Jesus. I was overwhelmed with a sense of disappointment and love: disappointment that I had failed Christ and yet a strong sense of His love for me. Suddenly, all that I've read about Christ's suffering flooded my memory. I realized that although Christ knew knew the torture He would endure to pay the price for my sins and even though He knew that I would have moments where by my actions I would deny Him, He still did it. He still went through with it. I began to weep as it really began to click in my mind all that He has done for me.

I'm ashamed that I've taken His sacrifice for granted. I want to know this Man like I've never known Him before. I never again want to treat His Grace so carelessly. It's funny...I used to sing a song for church titled, "Does He Still Feel The Nails". Everytime I have sang that song, I heard the words in my head and would even get worked up a bit about the meaning, but today they have new meaning. Here are the words to the chorus:

Does He still feel the nails
everytime I fail?
Does He hear the crowd cry "Crucify!", again?
Am I causing Him pain?
Then I know I've got to change.
I just can't bear the thought
of hurting Him.

I never want to bring pain to my Savior. I know I will, as we all are bound to do. I just want to know Him in such a way that when I do fail Him I won't hesitate to go to Him.

There's still more I want to say, but I don't know how to put it into words yet. There's just a lot of raw emotion churning in me right now. I'm not sure this entry makes any sense, but I just had to share.

What a night!

I have just had the most exciting night! I heard Anne Graham Lotz share from God's word and Michael Card ministered to us in song. It was a fabulous evening! God really spoke to me through both of them and I am just awed by His Spirit.

This weekend, I am in Kansas City celebrating the Fellowship of Christian Athletes' 50th Anniversary. To say the least, it has been an outstanding time of reflection, inspiration and motivation. It is so exciting to see how God has grown this ministry in 50 years and to know that the best is yet to come. I am so blessed to be a part of FCA and to have a small part in bringing the message of Christ to young people in our state. Man! I'm pumped!

Anyway, just wanted to share a bit of my weekend. I'm sure there will be more to come out of my time in Kansas City. Tomorrow will be a long travel day. As much as I have enjoyed my time here, I will be glad to get home in my own bed.

Until next time! :)

Will it ever end?

No, I have not died. But I did think about running away once or twice.

This has been the craziest week I can remember.

It started out with having to re-format the hard drive on my office computer. I did that on Sunday afternoon. Then, as it usually happens, re-installing software and getting my computer back to some semblance of it's prior self has taken three days. Most of the software installed without a hitch, but we have a new version of some software and it has had me running in circles since yesterday. I finally got it worked out with the help of our MIS department. Whew!

On top of that, yesterday when I was going home for lunch, as soon as I got on the interstate, I ran over something on the road (couldn't swerve because I had cars on both sides of me). My engine lights came on and I lost the ability to accelerate. So I moved to the side of the road, called a ride and a tow truck to haul my car to the shop. Turns out, all that had to be done was to reset the fuel inertia switch. Go figure. Good news: no serious damage to my car. Bad news: $160 expense I had not planned on. :( Anyway, God is good. He is taking care of me and I am grateful!

So I have one more day in this work week. (I'm going out of town this weekend.) I hope tomorrow goes well. I'm praying tomorrow goes well. I've got a lot to get done before we leave. My boss and I and eight other people will be going out of town. At least it will be a good weekend! I hope so, anyway!

Single Awareness Day

A very good friend of mine (hope your surgery goes well Tiffany!) corrected me in a conversation we were having the other day. I was asking her what her plans for Valentine's Day were and she promptly said..."Well, for Single Awareness Day, I'll be recovering from sinus surgery..."

It took me a moment to realize what she had said, but as soon as it registered, I began to laugh.

In spite of the humor, I understood her "pain". Valentine's Day does tend to leave us Blessed Singles out. Advertisements everywhere remind all the gentlemen to load up on gifts, flowers and chocolates for their "special someone". Christmas is barely over before you see the pink and red hearts of Valentine's displays.

To me it is truly just another day. I won't say I've never been jealous of others and what the day represents, but it really is just another day. In fact, I've told friends that even if I was married, I don't think I'd want to celebrate the day. My thinking is this - if my sweetheart doesn't show his love for me throughout the year (and not just by getting me "stuff") then he certainly doesn't need to bother for Valentine's Day. Heck - he gets a three month reminder! Anyone can remember to give a gift on Valentine's Day! I want him to do special things for me when I least expect it! Is that asking too much?

Anyway, for this Valentine's Day, I get the privilege of playing the piano for my cousin's wedding. You have to admit it is kind of sweet to be getting married on the day that celebrates love. Side note: this isn't my first Valentine wedding to play for - I had a roommate get married on Valentine's Day about (oh my gosh can it be?) 9 years ago.

It will be a simple wedding and I know it will be pretty. I hope she is happy. More importantly, I hope I don't screw it up for her by messing up while playing!!! I always get nervous! I can play all day for church or a prayer service, but you put me in front of a crowd and ask me to play wedding music.....it's a whole different ball game!

Well, time to hit the hay. For those of you who read this blog and have a significant other - I hope you take time to tell that person how much they are loved. For the rest of you - my fellow Blessed Singles - have a great weekend and know that there is Someone who loves you more than you can know or imagine!

Expanding my knowledge

I was over at Jax Place reading her list of books she has read and plans on reading. I realized how little I've read! I was challenged to get on the ball!

Currently, we do not have cable at our house, but we've been contemplating getting the basic, basic cable - (you know, about 15 channels that includes all the local stations!). I don't know if I even want to do that. I find myself watching too much tv even now! Our biggest tv night is Monday. Me and one of my roommates have been sucked into the whole Fear Factor / Vegas / Average Joe line-up. Imagine how many chapters I could read in those three hours!

In addition to reading, I've wanted to expand my knowledge with some software that I have and I could even commit to learning that during those three hours. (Not to mention that I have some Online Staff Training I have to get done in the next few months!) What a waste! I can't believe I've given my time to that much tv!

Every day I get out of bed, I see my bookshelves - which are packed with books I've haven't gotten around to reading (as well as books I have read!) I could really save some money entertaining myself!

I'm going to make a concerted effort to not spend money on renting a movie, getting cable, or buying any new books and instead, start reading the books I've already paid for! I could be busy for a while! :)

A cool surprise

The neatest thing happened to me this weekend....an old friend, with whom I lost contact almost five years ago, found me and emailed me! He was someone I met through AOL and we were "long distance" friends - he lives in California and I in Mississippi. We lost touch when each of our lives, for various reasons, became hectic. Of course, I moved a couple of times and gave up my regular phone for a cell phone, so it was hard for him to find me. I had also changed emails a couple of times, too.

He is the coolest guy. After we first "met", we talked many times on the phone or via emails. I remember having fun chatting with him, encouraging him in his walk with Christ and just being an ear to listen when he was having a bad day. And he would do the same for me. He is a big sports fan, so we also had fun picking on each other about our favorite teams.

So anyway, I emailed him back, letting him know I was the same person he had known all those years ago. He called me tonight and we caught up on what has happened in each other's lives. He is happily married to a wonderful woman (he had just started seeing her when we last talked with one another) and has a son. I was so excited to talk with him. I truly considered him to be a friend (and still do.)

The bond that is created between people because of their relationship with Christ is always amazing to me. This friend is truly a brother in Christ and in spite of the fact it has been almost five years since we last spoke, our conversation picked up as if we had just spoken yesterday. That is so cool! Also, I'm glad there wasn't anything from our "past" that would have created an awkward situation in the present. His wife was in the room with him while we were talking, and even remembers me from way back. I think I may have even spoken to her at one point before he and I lost contact. (I'm not sure.)

Anyway.....this was just the coolest thing from my weekend. I love it when stuff like this happens! There are a couple of people from years gone by that I would love to find and have a conversation with. I really hate that I wasn't better about staying in touch with them.

In other news....my roommates are all better. Our weekend was a bit slower than last weekend, so I got some rest. I can tell I'm getting older....I can't stay up until 2 am and have a decent day! That stinks! :)

Speaking of bedtimes...it's way past mine already! Good night!

Illness strikes!

Well, it's just tons of fun around our house right now. Meagan went to the doctor today and was diagnosed with tonsillitis and mono. Yuck! She works in a daycare, so there's no telling where that came from!

Tonight we were all home and Dee Dee said she was beginning to feel bad. Her throat is sore and very red, and the tonsil on the right side of her throat was looking a bit nasty. We found out yesterday that a co-worker of hers (who is also a friend) was out sick yesterday and today with a high fever and vomiting, so she could have been exposed to that, too.

I'm just praying that I don't get anything. However, as I sit here typing this, my throat is a bit scratchy and my eyes feel a bit sandy.....if you get my drift. I had a couple of sneezes earlier tonight, which usually doesn't bode well.

*sigh*

We can't complain, though.....none of us has been ill since we moved into this house. Thank God! I guess illness was bound to strike, since Dee Dee and Meagan both work with kids.

Pray for us!